Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, my older brother said that if he beat me in a game of NBA 2k17, he would get to keep my PS4. I beat him so badly that he got angry and destroyed my PlayStation. FML
Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
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Top comments
xlord 27
Well hopefully he was too drunk to remember kicking your ass.
ladytigerhunts 20
#3: The most wtf reply I've ever seen.
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Comments (40)
tonyfan00 38
Well now that stinks. FYL Hope you feel better soon!
xlord 27
Well hopefully he was too drunk to remember kicking your ass.
superjewguy 19
knew* and too*
tonyfan00 38
^grammar Nazi backfire XD
ladytigerhunts 20
#3: The most wtf reply I've ever seen.
JustAnotherJose2 14
Where do you get knew from?
redstone7693 29
At least we won't remember
redstone7693 29
He* I don't know where the **** this auto correct got we from
junkman6 22
Same reason I tell people to "guck off." Cuz apple blows these days.
sarah5745 41
What?
thee_most_dope 30
some people do things better when theyre drunk, so dont feel too bad op. maybe playing drunk basketball is his talent?
s3kShUn47 20
It's a shame people can't also drive better when drunk...
wang33334 12
It's ok. I know your Dad. Michael Jordan,right?
LostInTheZone11 29
This reminds me of Peter Griffin in the episode "Wasted Talent", when he becomes an amazing piano player while drunk as a sailor.
ladytigerhunts 20
The cool dad strikes again.
ohSNAPyall 27
I'm outta heeeeere!
Ltsdragons 19
Well it depends on how OP loses. Like if he just barely loses. His dad might not be the better player when he's sober. For instance they could play another game and OP could win it. So I think it also may depend on how OP loses the game to his dad to see if his dad really is the better player. Thought considering the fact that his dad was drunk I might think differently on that
TheMarshmellow 14
Let's hope it's not the same when he's sober.
domclark94 19
I would practice if i were you