Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife…" We all laughed, and then my partner said, "Boy, you got THAT right." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML
Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we got engaged. Her response, "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you." This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML
Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML
Today, my wife’s single friend got drunk at my Master’s graduation party and went a long-winded rant about what a good partner I am. I’d be flattered if the fusing of praise of me with single person problems didn’t come off sounding like a jilted lover. We’d only met twice pre-party. FML
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
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Top comments
Andy1989 0
Lyric fail. It's "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife."
Rabbity 0
Maybe I'm strange, but I never liked the phrase "partner." If they're lesbians, just say girlfriend.
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Comments (97)
MangeMoi_fml 0
grrrarrrg2...yu had it right the first time, lol. AngieVengeance, Yur logic makes so much sense, haha. X']
nobridgejustwate 0
Actually, he/she didn't have it right the first time. And apparently judging by your own spelling and grammar you wouldn't know, so you're forgiven.
Kickmehard 0
YDI for calling your GF/wife your partner so many times.
GuitarJunkie6258 0
Definitely Lesbos so they are probably not the best looking and they know this
JohnnyTheFox 0
fail cuz homos can't even marry!
waterynuggets 0
They can where I live :D
redshortsx 0
ydi for being a lesbo
nobridgejustwate 0
...that's actually the rudest comment I've seen on any FML, ever. Silly troll, don't troll the lesbians.
sceptic 1
Redshortsx, I'm with ya!
NeedsaLife2 0
lol, awh man - harsh of your partner and tbh .. for all the people that are contemplating if you're a lesbian or not - WHO GIVES A ****, GROW UP xD
TiniMartini 0
omfg he was prolly just joking. learn how to take a ****** joke once in awhile
sammy22 0
gay couples can marry in certain states you moron that said its fail because they can't marry. Needsalife2-- nice comment~! I like it! haha who gives a ****! If someone were to say that shit to me- I would for sure have the last words- and I dare whoever is dumb enough to say some shit like that to me and or my gay friends! -in person! not over a computer!
theloofy 0
She's a lesbian...most OP's just say their boyfriend...she said her partner...lesbian...or the OP is a dude...and is gay....either way a fruitcake is involved (i don't mean that in an offensive way...just dnt know a word that describes a gay man and a lesbian woman since assholes feel the need to say only men are gay and only women are lesbians - p.s. why can't i just call the two genders gay in general so there isnt confusion -.-...fags)
nobridgejustwate 0
73, I adore your pic. As it happens, I'm quite the boomersniper. Also spitters. It's nice being 1337. either way, L4D rocks my (x) box.