Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife…" We all laughed, and then my partner said, "Boy, you got THAT right." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML
Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we got engaged. Her response, "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you." This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML
Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML
Today, my wife’s single friend got drunk at my Master’s graduation party and went a long-winded rant about what a good partner I am. I’d be flattered if the fusing of praise of me with single person problems didn’t come off sounding like a jilted lover. We’d only met twice pre-party. FML
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
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Top comments
Andy1989 0
Lyric fail. It's "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife."
Rabbity 0
Maybe I'm strange, but I never liked the phrase "partner." If they're lesbians, just say girlfriend.
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Comments (97)
big_mac_alert 0
you have to admit, it's really funny!
mizu22 0
jerk.
T1MBO 0
i kno
me199 0
He could be saying youre ugly and hes happy or youre hot and hes unhappy. either way is not that bad.
johnny_doe 0
My wife and I had this song played at our wedding. True story.
seeme1 0
Hey there's a funny site similar to FML but where visitors can tell their darkest secrets: www.whatasecret.com
Kuato 0
Your partner? So, do you mean a business partner? Or your boyfriend?
Coriluvstosmile 0
Obviously her wife.
xx1m4f4k3xx 0
woooooooo gay priiiiiiide XD
seeme1 0
Hey there's a funny site similar to FML but where visitors can tell their darkest secrets: www.whatasecret.com
Thecommish 0
OP: It's called a neg (a negative comment, slightly stabbing, to keep the girl thinking she's not all that and guy is better). Get over it you dope, have some self confidence. If you are UGLY then what is he - he couldn't do better?
Bladian 5
That night make sense, if OP wasn't a lesbian. Idiot.
T1MBO 0
WTF. My comment jumped