Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife…" We all laughed, and then my partner said, "Boy, you got THAT right." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML
Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we got engaged. Her response, "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you." This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML
Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML
Today, my wife’s single friend got drunk at my Master’s graduation party and went a long-winded rant about what a good partner I am. I’d be flattered if the fusing of praise of me with single person problems didn’t come off sounding like a jilted lover. We’d only met twice pre-party. FML
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Andy1989 0
Lyric fail. It's "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife."
Rabbity 0
Maybe I'm strange, but I never liked the phrase "partner." If they're lesbians, just say girlfriend.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (97)
grrrarrrg2 2
I hate when people use the term "my partner". If you're a lesbian thats cool. Just say you're girlfriend/wife/fiance/whatever she is.
grrrarrrg2 2
I have no idea why I used YOU'RE instead of YOUR. Im stoopid!
charsity18 0
so you just corrected something that didn't need correcting... you're=you are your=possessive sorry it was just bothering me
Aha09 1
T1mbo, is your comment suicidal? :O
katybelle 0
The song says... "Never make a pretty woman your wife, from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you". Try actually knowing a song before quoting it.
fluffyqueer 0
Jeez. Maybe she was quoting someone else's misquote. Chill.
AntiChrist7 0
And why do you date that ass? YDI
somepartsareme 0
@35 So, I take it your wife is a Tauren? Good luck with the undead cowbabies!
piperian396 0
YDI, how sensitive are you?
Jordannnnnn 0
I love that song!
1goodthing 0
OP, Well at least you make her happy...
AngieVengeance 0
Your "partner'' was probably joking. Lighten up..they wouldnt be with you if they thought you were all around horrible. Also, as far as the religion comments...Id rather believe there is a God and then find out there isnt one than not believe in one and then find out there is. Hell to pay doesnt sound like my cup of tea.