Intimacy: We can tell

We can tell

By Mkimmi - 12/02/2015 07:39 - United States - State College

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 301

You deserved it 3 715

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Same thing different taste

Can't wait for the next time

By cowboy_gold - 25/01/2020 05:00

Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 558

STOP!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 20:00

Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 151

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 354

You deserved it 3 798

Vicariously

By Cate - 05/11/2009 10:25 - Australia

Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 558

You deserved it 3 405

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 668

You deserved it 4 390

By OhFseriously123 - 06/08/2009 10:05 - Italy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 531

You deserved it 13 635

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 637

You deserved it 45 050

ur mom gay

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 01:30

Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 300

You deserved it 709

By SleeplessInSoCal - 09/08/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 076

You deserved it 3 302

By Anonymous - 07/11/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 833

You deserved it 2 432

organizse 28

Thursday 12 February 2015 19:27

Bang on the walls and tell him "I can do better"

julianbozikovic 20

Thursday 12 February 2015 19:29

Leave a sex tip book for your neighbor on his door! I think he'll get the hint :D

Comments

denden_mushi 11

Friday 13 February 2015 3:12

I don't get why people fake it. Wouldn't that actually be more hurtful to your significant other and yourself too? I just don't get it...

wvcheesehead 13

Friday 13 February 2015 3:43

Find an independent film with a loud domestic shouting match, preferably about a sexual matter, make them just as uncomfortable.

posie97 18

Friday 13 February 2015 4:25

I would have ran in there, pushed him off, and made him watch us do it way better and listen her when she's NOT faking every ****** I give her!

danm19 15

Saturday 14 February 2015 13:48

So a break in and rape!

trulypar 34

Friday 13 February 2015 7:49

Anonymously leave a little trophy outside the door for the terrific acting. :-)

asherm 15

Friday 13 February 2015 14:20

F her life.

xx000o 27

Friday 13 February 2015 18:03

Maybe he's a great guy and a lousy ****.

rockydify 22

Friday 13 February 2015 19:10

How could you possibly know she was faking from listening to them?

shitstorm28 11

Monday 16 February 2015 16:12

I had a neighbor like this once. I responded by yelling directions to him through the wall.

Keywords

Embarrassing Awkward Cars Transportation Babysitter Relatable Family Kids Money Thief Depression Health Mental health Wanker Work Bodyshaming Love Vacation Annoying Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Cats Animals Weddings Public freakouts Cops

The Top

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 163

You deserved it 285

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 649

You deserved it 297

The Top

Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 465

You deserved it 6 286

Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 753

You deserved it 7 035

Today, yet again, despite the fact that I don't know anything about politics, I got roped into a political discussion with my roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 276

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 153

You deserved it 4 513

Today, I saw my neighbors having sex. They’re not great looking and bang like pornstars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 818

Today, I discovered my own mother has been stealing money from me for months when I opened my savings box to find it empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 970

You deserved it 693