Today, I got a text from my ex-girlfriend asking me if I wanted an old college hoodie back. I said yes and thank you, and she replied saying, "Well I don’t respect you, so don’t contact me again." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I texted my friend’s mom, asking if she could send over my hoodie that I left at their house. Except I didn’t text her, I texted my ex’s mom, who said, “You should probably stop texting me. She’s engaged now.” FML
Today, my ex asked me to return a sweater he'd gifted me back in the day. He didn’t even thank me, just said he’d catch me at lunch but never did. Work was tedious yet even then I didn’t leave without shooting him a goodbye text, only for him to say, “Oh my bad, I already left.” I still love him but it’s clearly one-sided. FML
Today, my ex, who has been asking me to get back with her, told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me when I asked. FML
Today, I got spammed and bitched at by my ex-girlfriend from high school because she found out I didn't even have feelings for her. It was 3 years ago. FML
Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML
Today, I received a "Happy Birthday" text from my ex. I thought maybe she missed me, but when I replied with a polite, "Thank you," they responded with "Sorry, wrong person. However, fuck you." Ouch. Happy birthday to me, indeed. FML
Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying, "I love you." FML
Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply was, "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML
Today, I went to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her her stuff back. We broke up earlier this week after a two year relationship, and I'd hoped she would've realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I rang the doorbell and her new boyfriend opened the door. FML
Today, I wanted to rub my success in my ex's face to get her back for breaking my heart. I typed the perfect email, included every detail of opening my own business, buying my own home and cleverly intertwined insults. A few hours later, she replied, "That’s nice. Who’s this?" FML
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Top comments
Blimix 9
Ten bucks says that the second text was from a manipulative boyfriend who got hold of her phone and didn't want her texting you.
ninjacat 10
This could be an FML on its own but I used to have a hoodie from my alma mater that was super oversized (bc honestly you don’t need a man in your life to to have a big comfy hoodie lol) My ex took it when I broke up with him and I found out later that he would wear it and tell people that he went to that college (he very much did not)To those saying that women always get custody of hoodies..it can happen the other way around.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
How can she respect your hoodie?
Blimix 9
Ten bucks says that the second text was from a manipulative boyfriend who got hold of her phone and didn't want her texting you.
Grumpy Jack 27
Or maybe she's just sick bitch !
CakeEater 15
It's in the unspoken relationship rules that girls receive ownership of all hoodies and sweatshirts while you're dating, and once they leave your house it's gone for good.
ninjacat 10
This could be an FML on its own but I used to have a hoodie from my alma mater that was super oversized (bc honestly you don’t need a man in your life to to have a big comfy hoodie lol) My ex took it when I broke up with him and I found out later that he would wear it and tell people that he went to that college (he very much did not)To those saying that women always get custody of hoodies..it can happen the other way around.
Grumpy Jack 27
First, she texts you about an old hoodie and then she wants no more contact with you without even giving your hoodie back ? Is that what happened ?
unashamedfemale 9
Ring, Ring. Hello? Stop calling me!!!