Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML
Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling, "Who's your daddy?" at his plate of barbecued meat, and my mom just sat there with that, "What the hell happened to my life?" look on her face. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML
Today, I ordered a beer with my parents at dinner. The waitress said, "Oh, happy 22nd birthday." My parents eyes got really big, and they started to blush. They'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
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Top comments
bigtaytay 13
You should have dumped water all over them and told them they were in the splash zone
XxDevilxXGt 26
I think it's really sad that people see "underage drinking" as this horrible thing. Guess what, drinking to get drunk in general is bad whether you're 16, 21, or 40, and THAT's what's wrong with people. And it doesn't do any harm to have a drink with family, that's just silly. With your logic, I hope YOU never have kids.
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Comments (82)
coolrandomjuju 9
Yeah! Shamoo the whale!!!!
mconionman 6
Yep. We're gonna need a photo.
cynical78 15
With family like that who needs enemies?
Kazeran 9
But orcas are amazing :D
bromoryn 10
That is so rude. But hey, whales are pretty and awesome and gaping assholes, which they apparently resemble, are ugly and full of shit!
ghil_fml 7
and then the fight started??....
Adampeabottom 6
Ha
Simbaby 23
Begone satan , hello shamu!
Tressa1982 18
I would of been sneaking drinks. sounds like everyone would of been too drunk to notice anyway
fml1365 30
I would have left.