Was it me?
By PhantomShitter - 29/11/2019 20:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham
By PhantomShitter - 29/11/2019 20:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham
By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 04:00 - United States - Colorado Springs
By shittyhall - 26/06/2017 04:00
By Jick - 26/02/2023 14:00
By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00
By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00
By dontevenassk - 12/06/2009 04:44 - Canada
By Titi14 - 04/03/2010 03:19 - United States
By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs
By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 23:01 - United States - San Jose
By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown
unless *gasp* it's a woman
You need to lay off the sauce, bud.
Uhmm, this is obviously a female. Unless the guy took his pants down and squatted to pee, it was a female. Drunk or not, if you were outside your own place, why couldn't you get in? Did you not notice when you woke up that you needed to wipe your ass?
Hey "Doc", I'm no medical expert, but I've seen enough drunk people to know that the body can do certain things involuntarily when they're wasted. You don't need to squat to shit. If you're relaxed, you can do it standing up, and have it fall out your pants leg without noticing. Until further notice, I'm gonna go with the icon, and read this story as if it happened to a drunk dude. Also, you can lock yourself out of your house if you misplace your keys, and you can do that drunk or sober. My guess is his/her friend managed to get OP inside, but after their mishap, and may have been too drunk/apathetic herself to clean it up.
Keywords
You need to lay off the sauce, bud.
What kind of man sits when they pee? Wait unless, no it can't be real. Oh dear,,,,