Work, Weird, Roommate and Revenge: Proportional response - FML

Proportional response

By SlimJim - 30/08/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, I had a Zoom job interview. My roommate grabbed me, duct-taped my mouth, and hogtied me. I watched helplessly as he took the call with my potential employer, insulted her, and said, “Fuck this job.” All because I “hit on his girlfriend” at a BBQ yesterday, by asking her if she wanted another hot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 863

You deserved it 150

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Same thing different taste

Not helping

By StillUnemployed - 11/10/2021 20:00

Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 188

Impressive

By Anonymous - 05/03/2021 08:01

Today, I had a big job interview on Zoom. I forgot my name was set as "Fat F***". I joined the call and the older lady interviewing me was very offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 1 478

No job for you

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 07:59

Today, I had a virtual interview for my dream job. Prepared as f**k. One of the interviewers turned out to be my ex, who I dumped for being too dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 505

This needs clarification

By wrongdecisions - 05/07/2022 16:00

Today, some guy I’ve been talking to showed up at my house while I was on video call with my boyfriend. I had to confess to a stupid situation I had no business being in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 1 692

Serious business

By Anonymous - 02/01/2023 15:00

Toda, while I was on a Zoom interview for a potential new career, one of my family members screamed, "Well that's a kick in the dick!" It was so loud, the recruiter immediately told me to have a nice day and abruptly ended the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 147

Unprofessional

By WhoDunIt - 14/01/2023 10:00

Today, I had a job interview for the perfect job. My phone rang in my pocket. I’d forgotten to silence it. The worst part? The ringtone was a guy saying “Pussy!” on a continuous loop. The interviewer chewed me out for being “unprofessional” and kicked me out. I have no idea who set that ringtone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 1 124

Zoom, there it goes

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 22:00

Today, my mom stumbled into my house, drunk and half naked, while I was in a Zoom meeting. My client said he no longer had an interest working with someone with such a disreputable home life, and offered to pray for our salvation before ending the call. My boss is going to eviscerate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 125

Thanks for the support

By Time2Diet - 31/05/2022 12:00

Today, I had a Zoom interview. My chair decided to break from under me. CRACK! One leg broke. I tried to compose myself and played it off. CRACK! The second leg gave out and I couldn't hold myself up anymore and fell down with it. The interviewer promptly stopped the interview and said, "We’ll be in touch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 135

So brave

By unemployedagain - 25/03/2023 21:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was offered the job of my dreams until the recruiters had gone through my Twitter account and had seen tweets of me calling another girl a “bitch” and a racial slur during an argument. They rescinded the offer and I’d already quit my last job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 2 178

The truth will out

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 02:00

Today, I accidentally overheard my thesis supervisor mutter, "fucking idiot" coming out of a Zoom meeting with him. It was only me and him in the Zoom meeting, and he said it 4 seconds after saying goodbye. I just quit Zoom without saying anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 150

Next

Top comments

Bogrbon 27

Wednesday 31 August 2022 5:28

I believe your roommate may have just committed a felony.

Iifa 7

Wednesday 31 August 2022 10:57

Report to police, file restraining order.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 31 August 2022 2:02

Were you pointing at your pants when you asked her?

cooltatgar 31

Wednesday 31 August 2022 19:05

🤣🤣

MidnaLink 33

Wednesday 31 August 2022 3:49

And now he's just cost you your half of the rent. Good job dumbfuck jealous roomate.

Bogrbon 27

Wednesday 31 August 2022 5:28

I believe your roommate may have just committed a felony.

SamanthaThe1st 22

Wednesday 31 August 2022 5:54

Now would be a good time to explain what happened and hopefully rearrange a new interview.

core01 30

Wednesday 31 August 2022 6:33

**** the job. I'd call the cops on that psycho

Iifa 7

Wednesday 31 August 2022 10:57

Report to police, file restraining order.

Plop 17

Wednesday 31 August 2022 12:57

Assault and battery lawsuit anyone?

emmalou 19

Wednesday 31 August 2022 22:05

that's super f'in weird-Plus now u might not have rent

CowgirlWithHeart 15

Thursday 1 September 2022 3:06

Ooof, please tell the GF, if he is this jealous I don't want to imagine what he might do to her in the future.

Keywords

Public freakouts Health Relatable Geek Music Scams Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Cops Transportation Bikes Kids Fight Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Social Media Love Work Art Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 489

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 61

The Top

Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 534

You deserved it 4 172

Today, I called my sister and asked if she could watch my baby while I went to the store for desperately needed groceries and supplies. She refused, despite the fact that she's randomly dropped off her three rambunctious boys more times than I could count so she could go clubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 264

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 219

You deserved it 353

Today, I got a ticket for parking "illegally." I was waiting for my handicapped dad at the airport and had all the required documents to park as I did while waiting for him. The cop didn't care, and now I have to go through bureaucracy hell to get it cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 112

Today, my Google Home decided the TV told it to play 'Despacito'. It didn't. Google then decided I wasn't yelling at it to turn it off. I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 350

Today, my boyfriend has been sulking like a moody kid all day, all because I won't set my phone background to a picture of his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 031

You deserved it 3 254