Work: Wage slave

Wage slave

By Janet - 10/03/2009 13:02 - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 315

You deserved it 3 165

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By frustrated - 11/07/2013 04:52 - United States - Antioch

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 821

You deserved it 3 581

By Anonymous - 21/01/2016 03:16 - United States - Houston

Today, at my retail job, I tried on one of our hats. My co-worker told me I shouldn't because I could get lice. I laughed it off and told her I didn't believe her. Man, do I believe her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 559

You deserved it 8 549

By imalilangel05 - 10/02/2009 15:08 - United States

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 164

You deserved it 5 790

By AnonUser464 - 08/01/2013 16:40 - United States

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 508

You deserved it 3 419

By hcfan - 14/04/2009 11:18 - Australia

Today, a customer came in to the Pizza store where I work and complained that the food they had purchased had a strand of black hair in it. After some deliberation, my boss decided to fire me. He is the only staff member there with black hair. I shaved my hair 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 386

You deserved it 3 557

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 18:10 - United States - Gerber

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 824

You deserved it 3 858

By poisonhand - 14/01/2009 15:32 - United States

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 757

You deserved it 2 802

Genius

By joshua - 25/01/2010 21:24 - United States

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today, but he had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can see if he can go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 051

You deserved it 2 524

The Dilbert Principle

By Anonymous - 14/06/2017 16:00

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 340

You deserved it 327

By anonamous - 17/07/2009 16:59 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 221

You deserved it 96 719

deadlyill 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:15

just so you know that is illegal for some one in power to make you do something such as that

drybamboo 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:09

His name's Michael Scott, isn't it.

Comments

Jonny_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:15

On the bright side, atleast he think's you're a trusted employee.

PointedRound 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:43

**** that shit.

interventions 1

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:57

people are disgusting :(

Kzee 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 2:21

I hope you asked for a raise after that.

derriick 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 6:03

hahaa, thats amazing... perfect time to bring up a raise.

0 3

Wednesday 11 March 2009 8:22

UGHH You probably caught it! FML! PROTIP: You can't get rid of lice with a comb!

nodbor 11

Wednesday 11 March 2009 8:35

next week it'll be get in here and help me with these crabs

zandar 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 17:09

you really need to stop dancing and get a real job!

beardsnbicycles7 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 22:30

That iz eleegul.

sam1298 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 6:33

i literally lol'd at #3

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Family Kids Fight Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Social Media Love Relationship advice Art Work Students Birds Animals Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 61

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 152

The Top

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 774

You deserved it 6 455

Today, my six-year-old son called to say he was suspended from school for drawing some “pretty flowers.” Confused as to why that would warrant punishment, I took a look and they were swastikas. He’s inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 124

Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 417

You deserved it 2 411

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 339

You deserved it 3 801

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 884

You deserved it 30 095

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 488

You deserved it 24 052

Wage slave

Same thing different taste

Genius

The Dilbert Principle

Top comments

Comments