Today, while in the hospital recovering from surgery, I got into a fight with my wife. Apparently, she feels that I shouldn’t have gone to the hospital because “Funerals cost less than surgery.” She brought an extremely detailed spreadsheet to prove it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after being in the hospital for two weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
Today, my wife asked when I was going back to the gym because I am developing a belly, which she finds disgusting. I've just had surgery on my thigh, which was her fault for asking, “What’s this thing do?” while grabbing the handle to the jack holding up my car, dropping the car on my leg. FML
Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML
Today, I'm in hospital after having surgery for a broken leg. I’m maxed out on Endone and still in pain. Work have said that I’m on the roster next week and I’ll be fired if I’m not there. My wife said that she is going to have some "me time" for a few days when I get home from my "holiday". FML
Today, I left hospital after suffering a head injury. My neurosurgeon gave my wife a list of potential household changes that needed to be made, otherwise I could have a fatal seizure. We got in the car and she said, "You do realise we aren’t doing a single thing on that bullshit list, right?" FML
Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML
Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML
Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing Xbox. FML
Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
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Top comments
Bloo2555 22
That's messed up in more ways than one.
James Jones 6
divorce her now!!!
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Comments (50)
Mungolikecandy 19
You should point out surgery is cheaper than divorce.
Zoey775 16
I think I'd be calling a divorce lawyer asap
Goatstookallusernames 5
with your username : i doubt if this is true vs fantasy
OrchidKitten 21
Ironically, there are people like OP's wife out there. How do I know? My mom is the same way, avoiding hospital and doctor visits just to save a few bucks. Last time I had surgery, all she did was complain about having to pay for everything even after she paid it off. A lot of people are assholes and will do almost anything to save a buck.
Anna Marie Cardenas 2
Your wife’s a bitch
Elysa Kuhn 5
your wife sucks your wife don't even love you bro she wants you dead watch out
Ahaddad123 27
Name checks out
kazekai8 11
Goddam talk about being a cold hard bitch I am pretty sure this is next LV fml
ncparry 18
Um...divorce her. NOW.
Caroline Mae Lavoie 5
Just sounds like she wants you dead
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
That's messed up, sure, but so are you if you call yourself "Marriedtoajew" when telling stories about how your wife is loath to spend money.