Today, while in the hospital recovering from surgery, I got into a fight with my wife. Apparently, she feels that I shouldn’t have gone to the hospital because “Funerals cost less than surgery.” She brought an extremely detailed spreadsheet to prove it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after being in the hospital for two weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
Today, my wife asked when I was going back to the gym because I am developing a belly, which she finds disgusting. I've just had surgery on my thigh, which was her fault for asking, “What’s this thing do?” while grabbing the handle to the jack holding up my car, dropping the car on my leg. FML
Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML
Today, I'm in hospital after having surgery for a broken leg. I’m maxed out on Endone and still in pain. Work have said that I’m on the roster next week and I’ll be fired if I’m not there. My wife said that she is going to have some "me time" for a few days when I get home from my "holiday". FML
Today, I left hospital after suffering a head injury. My neurosurgeon gave my wife a list of potential household changes that needed to be made, otherwise I could have a fatal seizure. We got in the car and she said, "You do realise we aren’t doing a single thing on that bullshit list, right?" FML
Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML
Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML
Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing Xbox. FML
Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
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Top comments
Bloo2555 22
That's messed up in more ways than one.
James Jones 6
divorce her now!!!
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Comments (50)
TheMean1 6
I'm sure I'm not the first one here to say that Divorce is the cheapest of the three options. Just saying.
UOFreak07 8
she just wants to cash in on your life insurance lol
Lobby_Bee 18
Numbers don't lie..
zephyrsnana 1
unless she put the wrong formula in her spreadsheet. lol
worldclassrager 41
Is your life insurance high or something? Or She just want you to pass on for some reason that you probably don’t know...
interesting33 37
that is so so hideous. I cannot fathom how someone could say something like that,let alone go to such lengths to prove it! I agree with previous commentators, your username sounds antisemitic, suggesting she is selfish and hoards money and Jews do too
Icecold100 6
You should’ve gotten a funeral ... for your relationship
Meghan Pappas 7
wow I'd say file for divorce when you get out of the hospital! Cuz from the sounds of it she wouldn't care less if you were to die. Find somebody who loves you for you and wants you around! Jesus
Hellblazer_Sith 25
I hope you mean ex-wife. This is highly disturbing.
ChakatBlackstar 29
After reading your username, I've gotta side with the wife.
smoothlikejazz 13
yea get outta dodge