Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
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Top comments
robinsn 0
Most people are their first time.
bobsanction 18
I doubt you know what good sex is.
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Comments (416)
guineagirl 18
the first time always sucks and going by your username you aren't the most intelligent person on fml
RajArjan 1
He probably figures that you're no prize either....
froudji_fml 4
I don´t get this : where does the OP say it was *her* or *his* first time ever ? They just pledged to wait ´till *their* wedding to have sex, one can understand it as *to have sex together*.
mjponso 10
I would imagine that the first time is awkward for everyone, because you have an idea in your mind of what things will be like, and what you want to do, and it doesn't live up to expectations. I think the rationale behind the "both partners wait until marriage" is so that both can experience the awkwardness together, as the first step towards establishing an intimacy with each other that ultimately strengthens the relationship. Whereas, one partner coming into the relationship with "experience" means the playing field is uneven, and could be the start of friction between partners.
Koizumiii 23
Hey at least you can shape him to what you want and need, and the two of you can learn together!
Cicironi 9
Although I admit it was his first time so you should be a little more sympathetic, I'm glad y'all waited until marriage! I'm if y'all keep practicing he'll get better ;)
CaroAurelia 12
Well, was it his first time ever? If so, then that's probably why and surely he'll get better.
Maclaine21 15
And that is exactly why sex after marriage is so stupid
CODPoseidon 6
some things just have to be tried before you commit like that
Rammer3500 23
Marriage isnt for sex, sex is for marriage.