Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake from her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 39
To be fair, if she is happy with you then there isn't any need to feel insecure.
jlaginski 10
It's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean. Keep rockin the boat!
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Comments (124)
empbob 20
Not sure why you guys are giving the short jokes, **** rings don't measure length, they measure thickness. For all you know he's packing 12", it's just not thick. The GF might be perfectly happy length wise. Just looking to increase the thickness or maybe her hopes were to make him last longer. We don't really know.
goth_pixie 15
Don't worry, a good personality is all that matters here :)
SoultheWolf 19
The **** ring is suppose to go behind your balls and **** standing at the base of your ****. Then it wouldn't slip off. Still, your girlfriend could've been nicer about it. If you put it on the **** itself it's just going to slip off from all the juices and lube used in sex. Try that next time and it should work wonders. ;)
RyanPrescott 10
If he's packing 12", can't he just make it thicker by bending it in half?
i_wuz_nver_here 31
And use the ring to tie everything down ;)
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Dammit I keep replying to the wrong comment
blvcklvnd69 14
it doesnt take the rowboat long if theres more help
tiatialiu 6
Good for you. Two events, just one cry.
termin8tor786 10
That's som funny shit!! Lol
icepick23 12
You're not putting it on properly. Seriously.