Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake from her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 39
To be fair, if she is happy with you then there isn't any need to feel insecure.
jlaginski 10
It's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean. Keep rockin the boat!
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Comments (124)
Sylvasa 15
maybe you didn't put your balls through?
Obey_StudBoii 23
Learn how to read.
rangerPat 12
Do you guys really have to belittle 8 so much for that small of an error?
Wakachulak 22
You're supposed to your balls in one by one first, and then your ****. Yeah, I know.
lukewhit 4
Did you tell her it was the smallest in the set or did you just grab another one?
FrankHotpants 31
That's pretty harsh on the olde confidence/pride. I'd put it in her butt then ask her again if its too small.
ZombieSazza 34
Stick it in her ass without any preperation, then see whose laughing.
hemz_fml 13
Can't you read #1?
worldclassrager 39
That goes to show that **** rings are not for this relationship...hope you find something as a replacement...
theKevmeister 13
put it around your sack as well, if its falling off, its not for **** only, it should feel extremely tight. It lets blood in but not out, and if you wear it too long ur dick will fall asleep good luck
Mossears133 15
It's little things like this that make me glad I don't have a penis O.o
theKevmeister 13
would u like one for an evening or 2? >:} sorry couldn't resist