Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML
Today, my stepson told his class that I beat his mommy. I did beat his mommy… in Pokémon. He left that detail out, and now his entire school is treating me like a monster. My wife thinks it's hilarious, and says it's her revenge for me winning. FML
Today, I finally had it with the redneck bully who's been tormenting me. He was repeatedly poking and pinching me and laughing out loud during class, so I slung him to the ground, pinning him. I got suspended. They only called his parents, who never do anything; my "caring" parents are looking into teen boot camp. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
d4m4s74 12
This would have been de perfect opportunity for the HiV gag. After kicking the kid off, when the mother starts screaming say "your son just bit me, and I'm HiV positive, and walk away bleeding all over the floor
The_Water_Ninja 9
kids these days... you would think they knew this information
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (166)
fsomelife 26
Might as well have kicked her since you're suspended anyway :P
mb2_native 15
I would have bit her in the leg.. And let her try to kick me off LOL
ileenefudge 29
Pokemon is awesome!
wolfgold2 20
agreed
99megster 15
And just Nintendo in general!
ghil_fml 7
as the policy say costumers are always right even thou der wrong lol
tswizz 13
Hur hur hur
bobak_can_ani 7
Just imagine that kid 10 years from now. I already feel sorry for the society
MakeTodayADTR 20
Well, did you go see Miss Joy to heal?! Or just go straight back to Pallet Town?
MakeTodayADTR 20
Nurse***
AboveAll04 14
just think, if you had the pokeflute then you could have put that little bastard to sleep.
tegraturbo2000 15
i think it only wakes them up not put them to sleep
belthazor909 4
It's not my country and in my country we r known as child abuse . Still our children grows up with some lesson . No offense to other country's rules . Abuse or not you must teach the kid to respect others. And finally I'm sorry for you.
BigJoeZD 16
This guy obviously isn't from an English-speaking country, and to that I give you praise. In New Zealand it's illegal to strike your own child, but **** me if I have kids and they need to be taught a lesson I'll do it. My dad did it to me, and I sure as hell didn't do what I did again. My sister on the other hand didn't get disinclined the same way, and she has turned into a spoilt brat.
summerguy97 16
In the US, it is illegal to hit your kid, while in some states it isn't, but is restricted to spanking, and slaps. You can still get heat for hitting your kids in states that allow it though.
Bloodangel4ever 14
Not to mention if you barely touch your kid or even raise your voice you'll have ten people calling CPS on you.
kidsgotastinky 11
Eh that's just kids being kids when their parents raise them to be brats
Axel5238 29
I understand the kid bit your leg, but when you kicked him off yeah no sympathy. Kid vs You yeah the kid shouldn't have done that, but the fact the parent complained and you got suspended for that can't be a surprise.
sbahr2011 3
you realize it was probably a reflex reaction right? Something's on your leg, you kick it the **** off
Axel5238 29
Not really, if your the sort of jack ass who's first reaction is to punch something or or kick something in what is a non threatening situation. You deserve it. There was a fml a while back and the bf was visiting the gf parents. They puppy he did not know about jumped on his leg and he punted him across the floor. It's a poor excuse for people who only work in extremes.
Wakachulak 22
Axel, how about you give me your leg for a second before explaining to the world what constitutes a threatening situation?
Axel5238 29
It was a kid, get over yourself. he wasn't in any actual danger. Getting antsy over it sounds like I struck a nerve with a douchebag.
Varieus 30
I really want to know what Axel said now.
Treveyon56 14
Axel shut the **** up. The kid is the one that deserved it. If I had a child who bite a man for no reason I would say that my child deserved it and that's just it.
horneyhic 15
Some one sinks there teeth into your leg that's assault no matter how old they are he has no idea what deaseses that kid might have he's totally justified in kicking him off in self defence. Or are u just one of those ppl that believes fighting back is never the answer you should just take it and let the cops deal with it?
Axel5238 29
No you aren't justified in kicking the kid off. No it isn't self defense and it doesn't sound like the mother was ok just that the op had to apologize for kicking the kid. It is still a small child and treat them that way. If someone did react badly and use enough force and hurt the kid self defense would not work as an excuse. They knew it was a small child it's over.
Wakachulak 22
OK, you are obviously not getting the point, so I'm gonna spell it out: BEING BITTEN ******* HURTS! Hurting somebody constitutes assault, no ifs, buts or maybes about it. If you are attacked, you have both legal and moral right to defend yourself. The kid deserves to go to juvie for what he did.
hordriss 14
So you got suspended for what is effectively self defense? As long as you didn't use a disproportionate amount of force you did nothing wrong. Some kids are allowed by their parents to get away with anything and so become little *****. If one of my kids bit a store assistant, they would be in so much trouble.