Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Protip
Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
Straight to jail
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
No more bring your kids to work days
Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML
Vengeance is mine
Today, my stepson told his class that I beat his mommy. I did beat his mommy… in Pokémon. He left that detail out, and now his entire school is treating me like a monster. My wife thinks it's hilarious, and says it's her revenge for me winning. FML
Teenage riot
Today, I finally had it with the redneck bully who's been tormenting me. He was repeatedly poking and pinching me and laughing out loud during class, so I slung him to the ground, pinning him. I got suspended. They only called his parents, who never do anything; my "caring" parents are looking into teen boot camp. FML
Domestic
Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML
Top comments
d4m4s74 12
This would have been de perfect opportunity for the HiV gag. After kicking the kid off, when the mother starts screaming say "your son just bit me, and I'm HiV positive, and walk away bleeding all over the floor
The_Water_Ninja 9
kids these days... you would think they knew this information
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Comments (166)
Hipnog 15
Yeah, 152. It's not like the kid bit his leg...
Mabonga 12
should carry a knife
Baller_Bob 17
Why is the world a Wad?
Pyroaid 11
Jeez. I always saw Nintendo as the gaming master race.
MEECHEL_JERDANG 2
Serves the kid right! Xbox is horrible. :P Nintendo master race!
Jadex64 12
I just got a headache from reading this
MetalMario38 9
Why do I have to be a part of this generation?
NostalgiaFreak9 41
Idiot parents and spoiled kids exist in every generation.
NostalgiaFreak9 41
And the mother defends her monster of a child? If he were my kid, I would make it my mission to make sure he never touches another video game for the rest of his life, even after I die.
19jburner 15
"Oh you're concerned because I kicked your son off of my leg? Tell that to the bite marks and his knowledge of video game companies"