Today, I'm on a class trip to Washington DC. Last night, my roommate... - FML

By WheatiesMan

Today, I'm on a class trip to Washington DC. Last night, my roommate took a shower, and I decided that I would take one in the morning. This morning, I found out after I got out of the shower that my roommate used one towel for drying himself, and the other for a mat. He didn't hang either of them up. FML

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The opposite of a good idea

Phantom pooper

Thanks, government

By stuck - Australia

Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML

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By Mash-brakketz

Goodbye, 7 years of sobriety...

Today a gasoline canister leaked in our work garage and filled my office with fumes. It got me high and nauseous even though I went out for air constantly. I had a meltdown and was sent home. I'm still high. FML

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By saintmichi - Poland

Today, after a 9 hour train journey through the Polish mountains, I mistook a small black and white cat for a penguin. FML

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By iamshrimpy - Canada

Today, I logged onto Facebook with a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML

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By iamfab - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

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By pathetic - United States - Lincoln

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

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By craphanded - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

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By Florida_1827 - United States

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

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By KKimrae_ness - United States

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

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By a stupid jackass - United States - New York

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I am partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML

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By ripped off and blown out

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

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By apparentlyawomanbeater - Switzerland - Cadempino

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

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By danam - Canada

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I called a wrong number. Calling back the right person, I began a long story about how I'd just called the wrong number. It was the wrong number lady again. FML

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By screwed - United States

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML

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By ItWasOurAnniversary - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML

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By Mary

Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML

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By Sean - United States

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

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By theholt - United States

Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML

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By Kit2019 - United States

Today, I got overly excited because someone texted me, but then realized that moments before, I had sent myself a message. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

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By Failsafe - United States - Newark

Today, I worked up the courage to ask out the girl I liked. I got her a nice bracelet for her birthday and asked her on a date when I gave it to her. "Aww, you're so sweet!" was the response to the gift. Her response to the date proposal? "Wait, you aren't gay?" FML

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By turnoff - United States

Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML

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By grossedout - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML

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By monogamous - Australia

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

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By Screwed

Today, I was informed that- despite an already skeletal staff- my supervisor is leaving the company. Tomorrow. FML

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By Megan - United Kingdom - Neath

Today, I was forced to listen and politely nod with a smile on my face, as my boss droned on and on, explaining that everything in the universe is slowly getting bigger, aside from him, because he's never felt so short before. FML

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By FuckedOver - United States - Houston

Today, I found out my mom took around $2,500 from my savings account to pay off my sister's college tuition. She recently flunked out of her studies and won't be returning to college anyway. FML

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By Kat - United States

Today, I bragged to a coworker that our boss compliments me constantly on my work performance, my fashion sense, and my trustworthiness. She then directed me to a "neighborhood watch" website. My boss is a registered sex offender. FML

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By Druggie - United States - Culver City

Today, after a week of being tired and depressed, I realized my bottles for anti-depressants and muscle relaxants had gotten switched around. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Central Islip

Today, the guy I've been crushing on at work finally asked me out to lunch. I was nervous we wouldn't have anything to talk about. He spent the entire hour talking about how amazing his new girlfriend is. FML

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By Arizonagirl - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed because hers is ,"reserved for sleeping only". FML

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By Sodapop40 - 21/6/2020 05:05

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

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By anonymous - United States

Not now

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

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By me - United States

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

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By XRayXLopez1 - United States - Dallas

Today, I met a friend I hadn't seen in forever. After talking for a while, he says "I knew there was a reason I stopped talking to you." FML

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By cbrocks - United States

Today, it was the first day of fall break from college, and I was really excited to sleep in and relax the entire weekend. Apparently my boss caught wind of my happiness and scheduled me 8am-2pm each day of break, "seeing how I don't have anything else to do." FML

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By Eric Moore - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years said she was leaving me because recently I wasn't making much money, and was playing too many video games. I recently got a raise at my job of 5 years. The job? Testing video games. FML

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Top comments

By AmyPond17 | 33

#6667369 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:01

You can go to the front desk and ask for more towels

By nonsensical | 26

#6667372 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:02

Well that's inconsiderate! I hope you didn't have to wait long for someone in the hotel to deliver you more towels...

COMMENTS

By AmyPond17 | 33

#6667369 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:01

You can go to the front desk and ask for more towels

Reply

LostInLife94 | 29

#6667400 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:30

by the time he noticed he was already showered

Reply

Sia_Will | 13

#6667418 - Monday 8 August 2016 6:10

Exactly, #15. Why does this comment even has the most likes

Reply

cootiequeen4444 | 11

#6667473 - Monday 8 August 2016 8:08

people must like the idea of exhibitionists or something

Reply

wasliedtoasakid | 22

#6670568 - Saturday 13 August 2016 8:54

Or OP could have used the extra blanket. Almost every hotel I've been to has had an extra blanket on a shelf in the closet. I would have just used that. You gotta do what you gotta do.

By nonsensical | 26

#6667372 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:02

Well that's inconsiderate! I hope you didn't have to wait long for someone in the hotel to deliver you more towels...

By AirBusDriver | 23

#6667373 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:02

Justifiable Ass-Whooping.

By crudeandrudeguy | 29

#6667374 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:03

It's inconvenient but not really a your life is fucked moment. My wife on the other hand has been doing the exact same thing for over 10 years...

By Magnoxidans | 19

#6667379 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:06

Should have just used his bed linen...

By flyingflies | 36

#6667382 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:09

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

PeterB444 | 17

#6667918 - Monday 8 August 2016 22:33

How did this get downvoted lol.

By moodyreallyrocks | 27

#6667384 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:10

Time to have a talk with your hotel roommate about common ettiquette..

By limegreenpoopie | 31

#6667385 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:10

Ask for more towels? Duh

Reply

Bearsmomma | 30

#6667449 - Monday 8 August 2016 7:34

So, should she go to the desk naked to request them? Or would it be better to have them delivered to the room and answer the door naked?

Reply

kelliecraine | 2

#6667621 - Monday 8 August 2016 14:50

It's not a woman, op is a man

Reply

xx000o | 27

#6667877 - Monday 8 August 2016 21:09

In this time of amazing technology, he could possibly use one of them there tellyphones to call the front desk and request more towels.

By tracklife62 | 7

#6667387 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:11

Just tell him the bare truth

By meagan77 | 13

#6667391 - Monday 8 August 2016 5:15

This is the stupidest FML I have ever read. How did this make the cut?