Weird questions

By Lola Smith - 03/11/2020 11:02

Today, a customer asked me if we serve spaghetti. She then asked for a manager because I was giving her a weird look, laughing softly when telling her yes, and apparently making her feel stupid. My manager wrote me up. I work at the Old Spaghetti Factory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 170

Best teeth in the game

Another great day to be alive

Stomach bug?

By Ecolo-girl - 11/03/2016 06:22 - France - Quint

Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 969

You deserved it 2 013

By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 02:46 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 035

You deserved it 3 494

By hfksorws - 08/10/2010 01:57 - France

Today, I was at Barnes and Noble with my dad, where he refused to buy me a book because I "already read too much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 105

You deserved it 6 050

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 06:44 - United States

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 170

You deserved it 3 361

By wantedphantom - 09/07/2016 02:26

Today, I was at the lake with my family. I was drinking from a can of soda but didn't realize a bee flew into the can. I didn't swallow it, but I now have Kylie Jenner's lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 754

You deserved it 990

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 796

You deserved it 240

Zzzzzzzzz

By driving me crazy - 26/05/2017 16:00

Today, I had to temporarily relocate to my brother's room after mine was being repainted. Not only do I have to sleep on the floor, but I also have to put up with my brother and dog both snoring loudly. What's worse is that they alternate in snoring. Goodbye sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 782

You deserved it 396

By FreeOfCharge - 21/09/2009 06:06 - Canada

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 039

You deserved it 110 523

By ohhhgross - 26/10/2009 18:32 - Singapore

Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 189

You deserved it 5 325

By anon - 09/09/2013 21:51

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 149

You deserved it 19 525

By JustMyLuck - 12/02/2010 14:14 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 179

You deserved it 4 833

By zyordz - 27/06/2009 04:12 - Peru

Today, I was working at a soup kitchen with people from my church. Seeing a rather disheveled couple, I told them the line started "over there". Only then did I realize that they were from my church, and were there to help serve soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 802

You deserved it 41 102

By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 01:30

Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 166

You deserved it 254

By Anonymous - 23/08/2013 23:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 396

You deserved it 17 173

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 00:21 - United States - Matteson

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 236

You deserved it 4 443

By E.S. - 23/10/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 147

You deserved it 40 863

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 248

You deserved it 8 617

By Anonymous - 18/08/2013 04:35 - Canada - Lindsay

Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 324

You deserved it 6 585

By HELP - 07/06/2012 01:25 - United States

Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 383

You deserved it 4 229

By Skoff - 23/07/2015 09:44 - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 042

You deserved it 2 919

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 01:16 - United States

Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 778

You deserved it 30 193

Sorry

By Dang - 29/01/2017 18:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was in class with a water bottle on my desk. I was on my phone not paying attention, when some girl knocked it over by accident. I went to grab it, even though it was in the corner of my eye. I caught the bottle of water but I also happened to grab her ass at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 378

You deserved it 1 171

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 18:28 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 139

You deserved it 9 506

Thwack

By Anonymous - 18/01/2016 14:24 - Philippines - Philippine

Today, while entering in my college building, I noticed that my right shoelace was untied and I tied it. I didn't realize that just in front of me was a metal beam until I hit my head hard on it and a loud, reverberating sound was produced. Many people saw what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 584

You deserved it 2 785

By Blöde Gans - 25/11/2014 16:14 - United States - Ormond Beach

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 607

You deserved it 2 690

By blah - 19/01/2016 20:53 - United States - Frisco

Today, I found out my father didn't have a rare brain disease, and that he was just an alcoholic. I've been taking care of him every time his "brain disease" acts up, for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 514

You deserved it 3 491

By Sub - 04/12/2009 01:14 - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 528

You deserved it 4 340

By gibbette - 28/04/2013 17:32 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 501

You deserved it 7 288

By moe - 27/05/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 658

You deserved it 7 703

Strange noise

By Anonymous - 22/01/2020 18:00

Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 707

You deserved it 209

By Taylor - 30/07/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 112

You deserved it 10 639

By Lolly - 12/09/2018 23:30

Today, I have a UTI that spread to my kidneys, a yeast infection, and a herpes outbreak. Oh, and my period came this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 201

You deserved it 802

By AwkwardWaitress - 20/03/2011 23:29 - United Kingdom

Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 761

You deserved it 15 664

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 17:26 - Canada - Uxbridge

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 183

You deserved it 55 201

By ValeyFallsAlot - 14/01/2011 14:18

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs. The guy behind me was kind enough to ask if I was okay. He then called his friends over so they could laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 829

You deserved it 2 982

By Anonymous - 04/01/2009 05:24 - France

Today, I withdrew $120 from the ATM at the hotel I'm staying at, only to have no money come out. When I talked to the concierge, who witnessed the whole thing, she said it had been happening all day and that the machine was broken. My bank says it's the hotel's problem, and the hotel says it's the bank's problem. Either way, I'm out $120. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 678

You deserved it 2 037

By Anonymous - 23/05/2011 07:25 - United States

Today, the guy I have loved for seven years asked me to move in with him. Turns out he only did so because he needed someone to pay the rent since he's quit his job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 982

You deserved it 4 921

Leave me alone

By rosanne - 08/04/2021 08:00

Today, I learned that me wearing a mask will not stop creepy old men from telling me to smile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 94

By Alittlebitiffy - 07/11/2016 13:51 - Australia

Today, I spent an hour pulling poop-covered prickles out of my husky's butt. A duck had startled him while he was doing his business and his first thought was to run, mid-poop, into a prickle bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 157

You deserved it 702

By 7rafe7 - 06/02/2011 07:37 - United States

Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 050

You deserved it 30 962

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Top comments

Roxy Rousseau 11

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Tuesday 3 November 2020 11:15

Maybe they thought you were actually joking, clients can have a lame sense of humour you gotta pretend laugh through.

ahabsfan 14

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Tuesday 3 November 2020 11:13

A similar thing happened to me. A Cheesecake Factory server laughed at me when I asked if they had cheesecake for dessert.

Comments

ahabsfan 14

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Tuesday 3 November 2020 11:13

A similar thing happened to me. A Cheesecake Factory server laughed at me when I asked if they had cheesecake for dessert.

Roxy Rousseau 11

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Tuesday 3 November 2020 11:15

Maybe they thought you were actually joking, clients can have a lame sense of humour you gotta pretend laugh through.

RichardPencil 30

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Tuesday 3 November 2020 12:35

Yes, but do you serve OLD spaghetti? Huh? And when they make it, it's new spaghetti, so how do you get away with passing it off as "old?" A-ha!

Ilmoran 20

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Tuesday 3 November 2020 20:06

They don't make it, they serve it. They are actually next door to New spaghetti factory. After a week, anything left gets sent over to Old Spaghetti Factory.

Grizz8831 13

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Tuesday 3 November 2020 18:09

do you serve spaghetti.... but they didnt ask why there is a marry go round in the middle of the place? or why part of the interior is casually fancy and the other part (not the marry go round d area either) seems like a carnival threw up? they asked about spaghetti... should have said no... (btw they serve great pastas, I go every time I'm in Toronto.)