Health: Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next...

By Anonymous - 11/06/2016 05:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 440

You deserved it 1 732

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Same thing different taste

By mental - 25/10/2012 23:09 - United States

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 637

You deserved it 6 090

By Anonymous - 27/12/2018 18:00 - United States - Floral Park

Today, I realized the only real accomplishment I've had in my life that I take any pride in is that I've had an FML published. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 391

You deserved it 435

By Zoo - 07/05/2019 14:00

Today, I went to therapy. Previously, I had been given the task to write a list of things I hate about myself so my doctor could see what we needed to work on. I gave her the list, and she simply said, "Wow, I've never had someone give me such a long list." I had 55 items on the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 281

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 20:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I took a deep breath and started journaling to "figure out my life." Two hours later, I had written four pages of ranting about my upstairs neighbor's loud footsteps and zero pages about my life goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 325

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 13:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 302

You deserved it 7 681

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 08:24 - United States

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in my weekly journal for college, my professor suggested in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 924

You deserved it 6 738

Send 'em in anyway

By mega_bite - 25/08/2021 13:31 - India

Today, again I wrote out another FML. Again, I deleted it before posting. Every FML I write would seem like I'm just making stuff up, or would be so obviously me that it would just cause me grief. My life is just an endless stream of weird stuff I can't tell family or friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 304

Alexa, play "Five Years" by David Bowie

By elle - 19/11/2013 17:31 - United States - Round Lake

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know… every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 575

You deserved it 3 397

Oh no…

By Elle - 23/02/2011 21:07 - United States

Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 515

You deserved it 22 426

Emotional

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 06:00

Today, I've been seeing a therapist after more than 20 years of struggles. I think I saw him cry during our sessions a few times. I guess that my inability to live my life at the fullest was hard earned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 157

fsomelife 26

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:08

We're always here for you to make your dreams come true, buddy.

H4H 15

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:11

You can impress a girl by telling her you have a published FML. Killing two birds with one stone!

Comments

fsomelife 26

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:08

We're always here for you to make your dreams come true, buddy.

H4H 15

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:11

You can impress a girl by telling her you have a published FML. Killing two birds with one stone!

sharkgirl4 23

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:14

You've manage to accomplish a 5 year goal pretty early. Now you can just coast

lollyasaurus 10

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:52

congrats on meeting your goal, OP

hkhan24 23

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:55

well if you accomplished one goal in record time, it won't be long before you accomplish the other!

dontknow1 19

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:55

Be patient, do what you got to do and hope for the best.

OtakuTaco 15

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:56

Congrats, you're halfway there!

whymeplease44 8

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:58

amd you got one published!

Wonthebread 20

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:58

You may have to make another list pretty soon

zippocobalt6 14

Sunday 12 June 2016 1:02

:) you got this op.

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The Top

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 756

You deserved it 3 387

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 182

You deserved it 13 492

The Top

Today, I was fixing something for a guy at a steel manufacturing company. His employees told me that their boss can't hear properly, so I'd have to be loud when talking to him. When I'd finished, he asked me if I normally talked like that, or if there was something wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 183

Today, my girlfriend of over a year said, "Being loved by you is the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. I'm so thankful I now know how it feels to be treated with kindness…" Then the word "but" and her abusive, estranged husband's name were uttered in the same sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 154

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 439

You deserved it 2 592

Today, I overheard my niece telling my daughter that a woman’s only real purpose in life is to find a good man and make sure he’s happy. This includes having his babies, cooking his meals, and submitting to him in any way he asks. My sister is a business owner. I have no idea where she got this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 187

Today, at the ripe old age of 27, I dislocated my hip while making love to my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 197

You deserved it 606

Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 144

You deserved it 3 020