Animals: Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided...

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 723

You deserved it 13 564

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Same thing different taste

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 24/07/2022 06:00

Today, at work, I thought I had to fart, but didn’t trust it. I squeezed cheek and hurried to the bathroom. As I was sitting down, liquid shot out of my butthole and got on the seat. I then sat in it. On top of, that I saw a spider crawl out of my underwear. The spider bothers me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 187

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 314

You deserved it 7 643

By Rissa Warrington - 09/03/2012 08:30 - Canada

Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 827

You deserved it 4 702

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 500

Tasty snack

By spiderinmylips - 24/06/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 7 490

By yikes - 21/04/2012 08:36 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 142

You deserved it 3 769

By dickwebs - 22/11/2010 03:42 - Germany

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 966

You deserved it 5 232

Stained

By maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 400

You deserved it 54 540

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 150

By lingadoo - 07/12/2012 05:46 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 057

You deserved it 4 849

zebraumicornz 6

Monday 5 November 2012 0:56

No f the spiders life for being an asswipe! Haha....no.......ok...

JustKittyKat 24

Monday 5 November 2012 0:59

I hope it didn't bite you in any intimate areas! D: I've gotten ant bites in bad places from sitting on the sidewalk near grass one time. You can't scratch that anywhere!

Comments

likeatoysoldier1 2

Monday 5 November 2012 4:53

sex offender!

calliefornia2 3

Monday 5 November 2012 5:15

At least it was dead....

zionjuggernext 3

Monday 5 November 2012 5:55

One of two reasons its dead one you're ass stinks and two your buns of steel workout video is working for you.

Miltonius 15

Monday 5 November 2012 5:55

No amount of showers will ever be enough.

kawaiichick 9

Monday 5 November 2012 6:27

Wasn't a radioactive spider now was it?

jujugoboom 4

Monday 5 November 2012 6:49

How the hell do you get a spider in your ass while taking a piss?

MlleMC_fml 19

Monday 5 November 2012 7:31

OP is a woman, so she has to pull down her pants and crouch to pee...

CharresBarkrey 15

Monday 5 November 2012 7:31

Girls have to sit down to pee, you know.

desertlovebird 11

Monday 5 November 2012 7:25

That just gave me the willies. Feeling so sorry for you OP.Now makes me think twice before dropping my drawers in the bushes.

doodlecloud 26

Monday 5 November 2012 10:10

Didn't you learn as a kid to pee BEFORE you leave the house so you don't get caught out half way through the journey? It's good that you apparently picked a more 'suitable' spot but I still think public urination is just so gross...