Work: Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin,...

By cazzb - 16/09/2014 04:17 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin, he farted loudly and rhythmically on the sofa, and then went on about how it sounded like the "Shave and a Haircut" rhythm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 835

You deserved it 3 045

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Same thing different taste

By Concert Flatulent - 10/07/2012 04:44 - United States - Marshall

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 992

You deserved it 29 179

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 823

You deserved it 42 656

By gassy - 29/12/2012 09:32 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 4 634

By some band player - 10/03/2014 02:09 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 295

You deserved it 4 617

By Anonymous - 30/07/2013 06:52 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 884

You deserved it 3 829

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 250

You deserved it 14 868

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 5 073

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 534

Oh no…

By yayibs - 04/12/2015 03:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 423

You deserved it 4 496

Dancing queen

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:44 - Switzerland

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 104

You deserved it 6 401

superwolf33 15

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:22

That some talent

PrincessCastiel 27

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:22

He sounds like a great musician. Such potential. Much wow

Comments

superwolf33 15

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:22

That some talent

Jreslier 15

Tuesday 16 September 2014 17:52

Yeah

StantheMan93 12

Tuesday 16 September 2014 18:01

#19 That comment was pointless.

andyeatsworld 10

Tuesday 16 September 2014 18:20

SOMEONE GET THAT KID A RECORD DEAL!

BigLatchZatch 14

Tuesday 16 September 2014 21:32

We will make a musician out of you yet, kid!

ethanperches 7

Wednesday 17 September 2014 7:24

So was that 21 and to make use of this comment. two bits

kingkyled 8

Wednesday 17 September 2014 9:00

Mozart wrote poems about farts. Just saying.

PrincessCastiel 27

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:22

He sounds like a great musician. Such potential. Much wow

cjwayy 22

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:31

Very musician. Much talent. Such talent. wow

kinky44 28

Tuesday 16 September 2014 17:45

Much talent, Such talent? Doge is ashamed.

cjwayy 22

Tuesday 16 September 2014 17:59

Yeah I didn't read over my comment before I posted it lol

cakefete2 30

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:23

He needs to leave the strings behind and move on to the wind instruments.

EverestMelting 23

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:23

Maybe he'll play the violin to the tempo/metronome of his farts.

GIGA_IMPACT 15

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:24

Only prodigies fart greatness

dabears1011234 27

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:24

Sign him up

GoldFishPony 21

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:25

His body breathes music

ColonelCusswords 24

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:27

dont try to censor his art. Artists deserve to be heard

ImTheAlpha 30

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:30

*fart *Fartists

moldypickles 29

Wednesday 17 September 2014 3:45

And/or smelt? I kid, I kid.

captainsmegma 12

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:35

There's s future as a one man orchestra.

WCARlover 34

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:36

Sounds like he should be playing a wind instrument instead

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The Top

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 086

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

The Top

Today, when I woke up, I thought I’d be sexy by waking my girlfriend with oral sex. Still half asleep, she said, “Robert, stop it that tickles.” My name is Linda, we’re a lesbian couple who've never expressed interest in men, so who the fuck is Robert? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 493

Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 17 658

Today, it was the marathon. My girlfriend, has a unique name spelling, ran and I cheered and passed her supplies at two different mile markers. I then noticed a guy I’d never met who had signs with her name at the same mile markers. She was too lazy to split up both her boyfriend’s mile markers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 94

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 540

You deserved it 15 220

Today, I found out that I've been pronouncing "quinoa" wrong for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 268

Today, it’s been 6 months at my job and I still can’t get used to the morning shift. Even with a changed diet, exercise, meditation, and no caffeine after noon, I'm averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night. My body will always choose sleep deprivation over falling asleep at a reasonable time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 149

Same thing different taste

Oh no…

Dancing queen

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