Miscellaneous: Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance...

By Concert Flatulent - 10/07/2012 04:44 - United States - Marshall

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 992

You deserved it 29 179

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Same thing different taste

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 823

You deserved it 42 656

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 305

You deserved it 2 799

By Smirky - 13/02/2017 02:30 - India - Bangalore

Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 642

You deserved it 1 720

Ight imma head out

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 140

By American idol - 06/04/2011 06:19

Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 612

You deserved it 36 976

By anon - 04/06/2009 11:35 - United States

Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 088

You deserved it 103 334

By gassy - 29/12/2012 09:32 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 4 634

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 634

You deserved it 43 511

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 365

You deserved it 8 112

Toot toot

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 399

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:21

So you play a woodwind?

zachherbert 10

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:22

"That's one weird sounding tuba..."

Comments

zachherbert 10

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:20

He's just adding percussion.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:21

So you play a woodwind?

MrBrightside21 20

Tuesday 10 July 2012 14:19

I thought he was playing percussion... On his butt bongos.

wetFeline 3

Tuesday 10 July 2012 18:06

No all he did was spray microscopic shit and gas out his ass

BulldogHoops 14

Tuesday 10 July 2012 18:28

I don't remember the last time I read a DocBastard comment withiut laughing. You are an FML legend!

efemel94 7

Wednesday 11 July 2012 2:58

The arsehole is nature's flute.

AnneeSo 6

Thursday 12 July 2012 6:47

LOL!!! That's a good one!!!

gmc_blossom 21

Saturday 14 July 2012 8:34

Oh, DocBastard. Always making my day with that sense of humour of his.

splinteredApple 36

Tuesday 17 May 2016 18:49

That's actually a brass that makes the farting noise.

zachherbert 10

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:22

"That's one weird sounding tuba..."

skullofdarkness 18

Wednesday 11 July 2012 0:45

Orchestra is just stringed instruments such as violin, cello, sit down bass, etc. no tuba unless it's a symphony orchestra.

zachherbert 10

Wednesday 11 July 2012 2:50

Aaannnnd Mr.JokeKill makes his appearance.

brill33 7

Wednesday 11 July 2012 4:17

Actually, that is a string orchestra, orchestra's consist of string as well as wind instruments

Ecstasyyy 3

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:25

You are definitely sneaky.

SpartanCEL 6

Monday 17 June 2013 16:27

About as sneaky as Brock trying to get nurse Joy

shayshayshazam 14

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:26

You have excellent timing.

ColdplaySucks 18

Tuesday 10 July 2012 18:43

Timing a fart takes skill.

blaackandprouud 20

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:31

Music to my ears OP.

Tezoma 28

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:37

Did they thank you for contributing to their performance?

hockeyoceancity 13

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:01

"We'd like to thank everyone thart came out tonight espically (OP's name) for sharing their unknowm musicianal talent!"

jonjak 7

Wednesday 11 July 2012 4:08

Haha

KaylaDawnn 5

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:39

That's when you politely get up and walk out.

KM96 24

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:43

But wouldn't even more people stare?

iTransform 8

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:39

Blame it on the tuba player, everyone knows they blow hard enough into it to accidentally let a few rip

ALpein 0

Tuesday 10 July 2012 19:54

Of course! That's common knowledge to us all.

TwentyFourXXIV 13

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:48

Thats when you say "continue the solo tuba player you're doing great!"

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Same thing different taste

Ight imma head out

Toot toot

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