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So you play a woodwind?

"That's one weird sounding tuba..."

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He's just adding percussion.

So you play a woodwind?

I thought he was playing percussion... On his butt bongos.

No all he did was spray microscopic shit and gas out his ass

I don't remember the last time I read a DocBastard comment withiut laughing. You are an FML legend!

The arsehole is nature's flute.

LOL!!! That's a good one!!!

Oh, DocBastard. Always making my day with that sense of humour of his.

That's actually a brass that makes the farting noise.

"That's one weird sounding tuba..."

Orchestra is just stringed instruments such as violin, cello, sit down bass, etc. no tuba unless it's a symphony orchestra.

Aaannnnd Mr.JokeKill makes his appearance.

Actually, that is a string orchestra, orchestra's consist of string as well as wind instruments

You are definitely sneaky.

About as sneaky as Brock trying to get nurse Joy

You have excellent timing.

Timing a fart takes skill.

Music to my ears OP.

Did they thank you for contributing to their performance?

"We'd like to thank everyone thart came out tonight espically (OP's name) for sharing their unknowm musicianal talent!"

That's when you politely get up and walk out.

But wouldn't even more people stare?

Blame it on the tuba player, everyone knows they blow hard enough into it to accidentally let a few rip

Of course! That's common knowledge to us all.

Thats when you say "continue the solo tuba player you're doing great!"