Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML
Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
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Top comments
Sanrio90 8
Oh gawd, that kid's a genius haha.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Been there, didn't fall for that, back in my babysitting days. Kid called me and told me she needed me to wipe her, I handed her a roll of TP and told her to grow up and do it herself. Works wonders. She cleaned herself just fine. (At her age, I'm sure she normally already cleaned by herself and was just tempted to pull a prank like the kid you babysat too, so I'm sure I escaped a similar fate...)
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Comments (139)
NaturallyUnlucky 0
Jeez, you people are uptight. Shit happens, especially with little kids. Wash your hands thoroughly, sanitize them, and move on-- obsessing over it isn't going to do you any good.
rallets 23
you shouldve smeared it all over his face and laugh
slutsstud 0
hahaha #69
Illumi113 0
You should not have smeared it on his face, you should have made sure that the kid's parents knew about it and punished him appropriately. Perhaps you should have recommended that since their kid is going to poop whenever he wants like a baby, they should treat him like one and make him wear diapers. How old was he? If he were only 2 or 3, he may have actually needed you and not intended to poop; he just did and thought it was funny like babies think everything is. If he's 4, 5, or 6, then that was definitely intended. You probably should decided that after that night, you would never work for them again, and would confront any and all baby-sitters they try to hire about the incident. Prevent them from being able to go out and leave their kid home alone, and force them to stay home more often teaching him some manners. And to all of you who think that this kid is awesome and hilarious, I'll bet that you're similar little pranksters who take pleasure in making other people's lives as miserable as possible. Learn some manners and understand that stunts like this may seem funny to you, but almost everybody else sees this as immature and childish. Grow up or shut up.
deathproof_fml 0
Yeah you should have definitely made him eat it. See if he ever does that again, the little ******.
wbrycem 0
You should've whipped down the pants and shit on him, and laughed.
JENkie 0
Dude, I'd rather wipe a little kid's ass than an old man's. I worked at a nursing home for two months wiping old people ass.
xDarknessInZero 0
LOL at #5 XD That sucks though, having someone else take a dump on you. haha
karinap270 0
hahahahah, can't get enough of this one,, lmmmmao, you poor thing, you totally did not deserve this, hahahhahahah, hilarious, i totally want to meet this kid
fmlmaster99 0
that's just plain nasty