Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML
Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
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Top comments
Sanrio90 8
Oh gawd, that kid's a genius haha.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Been there, didn't fall for that, back in my babysitting days. Kid called me and told me she needed me to wipe her, I handed her a roll of TP and told her to grow up and do it herself. Works wonders. She cleaned herself just fine. (At her age, I'm sure she normally already cleaned by herself and was just tempted to pull a prank like the kid you babysat too, so I'm sure I escaped a similar fate...)
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Comments (139)
DarkKnight540 0
Thats nasty
dorkasaur 0
welcome to babysitting loser really? really? when you babysit, you have to help them the farting part... not the kids fault technically the parents have to make sure they teach their kids good manners the kids i babysit for dont have the best manners, and its all "my mom doesnt care" but thats where YOU come in you make sure that they follow YOUR rules when youre around yes, you can have fun, but YOU are in charge when the parents arent home
miscellaneousact 0
my fav quote that i think everyone should do when dealing with those kinda *special* childern FUN BOX , OH FUN BOX SMALL AND SQUARE AND DARK FUN BOX, OH FUN BOX CHECK OUT THESE COOL FUN LOCKS YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY! DDDDDOOOOOOOOOO IT, im pretty the parents would mind at all lol or of course just make him eat it *going with lots of other people*
Mnemo_fml 0
HAHAHAHAHA that kid is going to be the next Johnny Knoxville.
INTENSE2013 0
OMFG I REALLY HOPE YOU WIPED IT IN HIS FACCE AFTER STUPID KIDS...NO OFFENSE...
FarSide 23
You should have pick up the plunger and beat his ass with the handle, and then told him you would kill his dog if he told his parents.
miscellaneousact 0
#84, you're my hero
likeduhhx4 0
hahaaha.
AhHAHA 0
ahahaha
DrAbe 0
#4ftw and I agree with #86 if he's old enough to go to the bathroom without you I'm sure he can wipe his own ass without you
lifesafaitytale 15
My twins are 2 and go to the bathroom but can not wipe. Children need help with those things. It takes time.