Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML
Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
Idontgivedamn 0
He probably doesn't mean it to be mean, he's trying to be a funny in dumb/cute way.
gildedmuse 0
I am almost positive that saying things like, "I'd rather date a girl who was a little fatter" as if it's a negative is exactly the sort of thing that makes girls wonder, "Wait, am I fat?" constantly.
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Comments (164)
kombucha_fml 8
I'm a woman and I think it's funny :D
Vaistin 0
That's pretty hilarious
Erock5718 0
boohoo im a girl with body issues. christ will you just get the **** over it.
Averizzle 0
Why are comments getting deleted?
PandaFlavoured 0
Because people just post things like "FIRST!"
Kazze 31
Because some people are complete assholes.
Jewelofagal 2
Sounds like the perfect opportunity to remind him that he, like you, lives in a "glass house" which is why you've refrained from throwing rocks about his receding hairline, his ugly toes, ski-jump nose, or other physical flaw of his.
hobobuster 0
Your boyfriend is awesome. You should be dropping to your knees and thanking him for allowing some bright humour into your life. Innuendo time! Go!
Jimbo2000 0
My girlfriend would laugh about something like that. But then again, she is not a stuck up little bitch
perdix 31
Either it's not too bad or he's a plumpa humpa, because he still likes stuffin' the muffin.
ImaginaryFoe 1
No competition here. Perdix FTW OP unless you normally wear a corset, he saw the muffin top before you got in bed with him and either didn't care or actually liked it. Stop bitching because you have a bf that likes your plump arse and thinks you have self-confidence and a sense of humour.
Ajjas013 6
I'd fight against your comment, but you seem to be imaginary O_O
ImaginaryFoe 1
*laughs and rubs hands together while everyone wonders why ajjas is talking to himself* Excellent, excellent...
CallMeHush 1
Backstroke lover always hidin' 'neath the covers till I talked to your daddy, he say He said "you ain't seen nothin' till you're down on a muffin then you're sure to be a-changin' your ways"
Kockdiesel 0
it's so terrible of you to be talking about your BF on FML. you should apologize by sucking his dick! dint forget to mind the balls.
ipwnallmen 10
26, thats so gross. i never want to give head to a boy. girls on the other hand... i like to cuddle with :)