Intimacy: Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking...

By notacreep - 06/07/2015 17:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 541

You deserved it 8 243

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 043

You deserved it 13 966

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 153

You deserved it 1 811

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 125

You deserved it 3 297

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 76

By Anonymous - 09/07/2013 16:07 - United States - Katy

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 737

You deserved it 23 075

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 127

You deserved it 6 201

STOP!

By lamelifeguard - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Morrison

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 057

You deserved it 4 463

By Sleepy - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 566

You deserved it 69 973

By humanshield - 10/04/2016 16:49 - United States - Rockland

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 250

You deserved it 5 127

By notagoodtime - 06/02/2016 20:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 957

You deserved it 5 124

ryannmichael 17

Tuesday 7 July 2015 0:08

That's a hard situation to be in... sorry OP

random2212 16

Tuesday 7 July 2015 0:07

Omg that's terrible!

Comments

UncleCaitlyn 21

Tuesday 7 July 2015 1:18

Don't be so hard on yourself

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 7 July 2015 4:27

he wasn't being hardon himself, he was being hard on the kids :-/

QuaDECH 13

Tuesday 7 July 2015 16:48

ChristinePi 36

Tuesday 7 July 2015 1:19

They were young once hopefully they won't hold it against you.

irving102 1

Tuesday 7 July 2015 1:19

Just say the adrenaline had your heart pumping

lukian_fml 29

Tuesday 7 July 2015 1:31

Beat me to it!

RabbitOfAurora 28

Tuesday 7 July 2015 1:56

Also beat me to it!

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 7 July 2015 4:28

way too much beating going on

MrThump 16

Tuesday 7 July 2015 2:16

Wow you managed to keep your boner while jumping into a pool and saving a kid! No way out of this than to tell the truth and tell them you were imagining your girlfriends pussy when shit went down.

vikky538 28

Tuesday 7 July 2015 2:29

Next time before you go job... Make sure you keep your balls empty...

coried91 28

Tuesday 7 July 2015 19:51

What?

cathrope 10

Tuesday 7 July 2015 2:32

YDI! that's what you get for wearing a speedo.

coried91 28

Tuesday 7 July 2015 19:52

I don't know if you have ever been swimming before but when guys swim shorts get wet they tend to stick to their bodies. That and he never mentioned being in a speedo.