By Louis - France - Le Mans

FML's Video Test

So, can you figure out what happens next?

Favorite

Proactive

Dangling modifier

Let's go girls!

By ziatenaj - United States

Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30130

You deserved it

2949

Favorite

By sen - United States

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44290

You deserved it

2620

Favorite

By whatisthisshit

Hellooooo, Social Services?

Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5364

You deserved it

651

Favorite

By LoveStruck- - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38678

You deserved it

5697

Favorite

By lookslikeaboyapparently - United Kingdom

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31477

You deserved it

5967

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I attended my son's Christmas concert. When I went to sit down in the last available seat, a woman said she was saving it for her husband. Having nowhere else to sit, I stood in the back, for an hour. The seat remained empty for the entire concert. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36544

You deserved it

4123

Favorite

By Why - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to create another signature. I have to use one at the bank and the other around my mother, so that when she tries to cash my paychecks the bank won't let her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29856

You deserved it

1836

Favorite

By mymomplucksbutthair - United States

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39739

You deserved it

3374

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24169

You deserved it

2546

Favorite

By Anonymous

Looks

Today, my mom and dad were talking about how if I lost weight, I would be attractive and have guys all over me. My dad said, “That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” It took me a while to realize they both think I’m ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1300

You deserved it

317

Favorite

By happyasaclam - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38930

You deserved it

5992

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56800

You deserved it

10737

Favorite

By Anonymous - Italy - Cervignano Del Friuli

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27881

You deserved it

2228

Favorite

By cock blocked - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33032

You deserved it

2457

Favorite

By nj - United States

Today, in basketball practice my coach was putting is in teams to run drills. He points to me and says, "You, go babysit my son by the stage." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32049

You deserved it

3012

Favorite

By ratfaced - United States - Stamford

What a cozy moment.

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3612

You deserved it

353

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that includes the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28303

You deserved it

2983

Favorite

By Anonymous - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I found out that ever since I got my blonde highlights, I've been mocked behind my back at work, and nicknamed "The Skunk". FML

I agree, your life sucks

18803

You deserved it

13379

Favorite

By awkwardsituation - United States

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38874

You deserved it

4805

Favorite

By hatesgravity - United States

Today, after finally getting up the nerve to take my motorcycle to up 75mph on the freeway, I made it off in one piece, only to fall off my bike in the mall parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14888

You deserved it

25522

Favorite

By TheRoad42 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46603

You deserved it

2716

Favorite

By no more flips - United States - Columbus

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26705

You deserved it

6991

Favorite

By he's a dawk, and a cunt - Australia - Darling Point

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

I agree, your life sucks

47928

You deserved it

8043

Favorite

By sammatthews2007 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

105060

You deserved it

7463

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24538

You deserved it

3941

Favorite

By awesomekidsmum - Canada

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35675

You deserved it

9093

Favorite

By incestastic - Canada

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43044

You deserved it

3036

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Advice time

Today, my grandmother gave me a sex talk on how I should take "precautions", right in the middle of a packed bus station. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21976

You deserved it

2251

Favorite

By Amber C - United States

Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15931

You deserved it

22867

Favorite

By mydadsawsooomuch - United States

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41065

You deserved it

9779

Favorite

By Alisha - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

24099

You deserved it

2325

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - Manchester

Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12119

You deserved it

733

Favorite

By missbrit - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35896

You deserved it

8118

Favorite

By doesnttastegood - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

120371

You deserved it

13919

Favorite

By daddy'sgirl - United States - Memphis

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8167

You deserved it

75146

Favorite

By xharmonyx - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9734

You deserved it

70861

Favorite

By Penkkis - Finland

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27506

You deserved it

9035

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26451

You deserved it

4319

Favorite

By Anonymous

Wakey Wakey!

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1458

You deserved it

171

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I found out that, while not exactly probable, it is definitely possible to squirt yourself in the eye with breast milk. It burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3116

You deserved it

478

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By AnthonyCS5 | 19

#7429284 - Saturday 25 March 2017 7:47

How did he not see a large pole in the water? Why would they even try that in front of it?

COMMENTS

By AnthonyCS5 | 19

#7429284 - Saturday 25 March 2017 7:47

How did he not see a large pole in the water? Why would they even try that in front of it?