Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to find out I'd had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything because apparently I talked throughout my dream, and she was right next to me listening. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML
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Top comments
rattusrattus 19
It's quite simple. In dreams, you can have wild orgies with eight sets of identical twins. You can't do that IRL.
Ninjafriends 1
You're assuming it was a sexual dream. It could just as easily have been a nightmare.... about having sex with you.
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Comments (101)
JokeMeister 0
that's y they call it a DREAM, dingus! evrything is perfect. I hope ur the stupidest n the hse.
fthku 13
Not if you're his roomate.
clarebluehair13 0
ha ha win :)
mk58 31
The irony is palpable, 13.
sweet_candy_ 17
Try doing something different.
FML191919 3
I'm pretty This FML has already been wrote a long time ago
DocBastard 40
1) No you aren't 2) No it hasn't 3) written* Do me a favor and slap yourself four times in the face. Great, thanks. Those were from me.
HoustonER 0
what does you being pretty have to do with ur comment
MLuckyCapoeirist 6
He or she forgot the word "sure". If it wasn't the case, our FML doctor surely cured FML191919's case of severe narcissism.
momo1972 3
ouch the truth does hurt huh
xela96 0
get good son
jmasters 0
lmao!!!
no_luck83 0
then you're not doing it right.
No_LoveMM 3
So......did she die?
ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0
did she died!?
mintcar 10
Eh, if you think it's because you're bad in bed, then work on it?
MassEffectNerd 0
well only in her dreams can she be tag teamed by George Clooney and Brad Pitt duh