Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML
Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML
Today, I went on a date, and halfway through I started getting nonstop calls from “Mom” on my phone. Annoyed, I silenced them. Later, I checked my voicemail. It was actually my mom calling from the ER because she had slipped and broken her ankle. FML
Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML
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Top comments
bigphill1333 0
Well I guess your moms a screamer and your dad has skills.
angel55033 12
play it back for them lol but WTF why did you listen to all 7 minutes that's just wrong
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Comments (149)
luvdacowboys 0
you actually listened to the entire 7 minutes...? were you playing with yourself the whole time... or?
dangg11 0
Shit that sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! poor u FYL
DDs2010 0
omg i feel your pain but seriously why would you listen to your parents going at it for 7mins (something not right there) FYL
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
Wow. that's going 2 b an interesting dinner...
badkittykills69 0
Ewwwwwww
lukethaduke 0
... you listened to your parents get it on for 7 strait minutes.... you had to too know how long the voicemail was yah sick nasty person
3DGprodigy15 0
that's messed up..
rozieslothinator 0
and you listened to all seven minutes?
apinkjar 3
Why would you listen to your parent's having sex for seven minutes straight? I'd be traumatized and would have hung up as soon as I heard the mattress squeaking.
badactor009 0
Have some guy talk with your old man. You never know where you will pick up some useful knowledge. He may know a thing or two. It may be very simple and no technique or smooth moves are involved. It may turnout that he is a Neanderthal and your mom likes nothing more than a good hard pounding. Good luck with that chat.