Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML
Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML
Today, I went on a date, and halfway through I started getting nonstop calls from “Mom” on my phone. Annoyed, I silenced them. Later, I checked my voicemail. It was actually my mom calling from the ER because she had slipped and broken her ankle. FML
Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML
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Top comments
bigphill1333 0
Well I guess your moms a screamer and your dad has skills.
angel55033 12
play it back for them lol but WTF why did you listen to all 7 minutes that's just wrong
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Comments (149)
cdatribe23 0
yummm lol sounds like an appetizing evening with the parentals :D
Comedie 0
Even better if someone calls OP while they're eating, and the ringtone changed to herself screaming. Oh, I guess they'd be even ! :)
oreoreo 0
Your Mom: "So honey, how was work today?" You: "Um...interesting." Your Mom: "Really? How so?" You: "You guys called me." Your Mom: "We did? I certainly don't remember calling you at work. Did we leave a message?" You: "Yeah." Your Mom: "Well, don't keep us on the edge of our seats. What did it say?" You: "There was more screaming than there was actual talking." Your Mom:"Screaming? Why on Earth would I be scr--" You: "BECAUSE YOU WERE HAVING SEX!!!" Your Mom: "Oh." long silence Your Dad: "So, how about them Lakers?"
LaFHlax 0
hahahahahaha :)
iceex56 0
loovvvve it ^^
dudeitsdanny 10
I was thinking "how aboot them oilers?" But I don't know if it's hockey season.
JohnBrownRyce 0
kinky.
awesomesauce8 0
so mom and dad....what did YOU guys do today?
lacejane 0
FYL..I hope you recover from this soon :-)
TheBestManEver 0
There is hardly anything to recover from here, it's not like they saw their parents in the act. Nothing a few drinks cant fix. Also, stop double posting, you posted the exact same thing at the beginning of this FML.
RedPillSucks 33
Nothing a little frontal lobotomy or electroshock therapy can't cure. Sometimes the comment bug causes double posting, or people don't see their comment immediately after refreshing, so they post again. Chill.
KamilleBlack 3
Why would you listen to it for 7 minutes? I don't feel bad for you cuz we've all heard our folks having sex. That's why God invented iPods or in ur case, delete buttons....
jolly12 0
hahahahahahaahahahahahahhaaha that's ****** hilarious hahahaha why did you listen to the whole thing? are you some kinda sick freak who gets off to that? WTF??
spd2fst4u 5
I think I would play it for them at tge dinner table. lol, who sent the message?
Koppol 15
butt dialed ur number maybe lol?
robertd73 24
don't eat on their bed.