Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
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Top comments
mk58 31
You're like his bitch.
Mi24hind 0
I see a pimp in the making
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Comments (280)
DaangItsBrooke 8
he sounds cute!
Jennnnnafer 3
I think thats cute. at least he likes you!!
veritasdgg 0
i dont think anyone wants to do work with ur fat ass.
ArbiterOfFML 24
Also, I don't think your mom was sober when she conceived you.
samanthanicolee 0
^ wtf? you don't have to be a douche for no reason.
TimHorton 0
THIRTYEIGHTH
flockz 20
and waffles. can't forget those.
Jakaroo 0
sooo.......u don't like it?
Monkeyone 0
Quit complaining, you are getting paid. You ungrateful bitch.
Iamnotmyself 17
-39 Also bacon! always bacon
flockz 20
not if you slather me down in syrup and call me eggo...
Iamnotmyself 17
-47 is it weird I got a boner?
DeepDownThere 3
^ Nah, it's not gay until the first shot is fired.