Kids: Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting...

By Anonymous - 19/07/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 536

You deserved it 8 555

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Same thing different taste

By YAABOIII - 05/04/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 215

You deserved it 8 803

Threat

By fuck you, kid - 16/07/2014 18:56 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 341

You deserved it 3 999

By Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 11 450

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 976

You deserved it 4 752

By amiliaroberts123 - 15/10/2012 00:45 - United States - Raphine

Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 332

You deserved it 8 927

By lamponau - 09/11/2008 11:26 - France

Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 523

You deserved it 6 169

What up big pimps?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 12:00

Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 189

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 026

You deserved it 6 857

Damian?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 06:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 115

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 125

mk58 31

Wednesday 20 July 2011 0:04

You're like his bitch.

Mi24hind 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 0:10

I see a pimp in the making

Comments

littlemissFYL 5

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:26

*123 the comments were deleted.

Kayble89 13

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:28

Hahah kids say and do the darnedest things.

Lights_Out_fml 6

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:30

There's a demon in him...

Iamnotmyself 17

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:37

-131 our epic conversation is no more ;(

grapist 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:48

your the girl so you are the bitch

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:53

Better not be bad. He might give you a spanking.

fmlwmty 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:55

oh I bet he whips you hard rrrrr

flockz 19

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:56

the moderators could be professional criminals because they leave no evidence behind.

dolphincheddar 10

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:56

lol at the deletion of all the comments

jeremy916 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:09

did you make him a sandwich

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 49 607

You deserved it 5 177

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You deserved it 2 123

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I agree, your life sucks 10 855

You deserved it 37 530

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I agree, your life sucks 20 097

You deserved it 7 031

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I agree, your life sucks 31 258

You deserved it 2 897

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 180

You deserved it 5 710

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 928

You deserved it 6 167

Today, I didn't get my driver's license, even though I didn't make any mistakes because my examiner said it was only my first time taking the exam, so it wouldn't matter if I failed. Now I have to pay another €240 for a second exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 847

You deserved it 174