Kids: Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/07/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 536

You deserved it 8 555

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By YAABOIII - 05/04/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 215

You deserved it 8 803

Threat

By fuck you, kid - 16/07/2014 18:56 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 341

You deserved it 3 999

By Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 11 450

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 976

You deserved it 4 752

By amiliaroberts123 - 15/10/2012 00:45 - United States - Raphine

Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 332

You deserved it 8 927

By lamponau - 09/11/2008 11:26 - France

Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 523

You deserved it 6 169

What up big pimps?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 12:00

Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 189

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 026

You deserved it 6 857

Damian?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 06:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 115

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 125

Next

Top comments

mk58 31

Wednesday 20 July 2011 0:04

You're like his bitch.

Mi24hind 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 0:10

I see a pimp in the making

Comments

DeepDownThere 3

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:13

Fml is too harsh. they remove everything. We were just having fun.

jloldude 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:16

pussay

IronWarrior 9

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:17

This kid isn't whipping her, he's TRAINING her. Positive reinforcement.

ThatsSOBforshort 2

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:18

lol it's ok sometimes I get lectured by five year olds at the day camp where I help out

kaylaaa1312 3

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:21

Bacon strip treats or fruit snacks? rofl;)

canucks92 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:25

the kid put you in your place lol!

bribri360 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:33

learning early lol

flockz 19

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:36

no they arent harsh they just delete any conversations that could be contreversial. i dont blame em. as for all the really epic conversations u can usually find em on sirin's website. so i can usually deal with their sometimes annoying deletion of comments even though i wish some werent deleted.

Sirin_fml 46

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:43

Sorry about that, but extremely long and really off-topic personal threads are annoying for the other readers. Especially when they are at the top of the page. We try to be cool about this, but only when it's reasonable and fair on everyone else. :-)

DeepDownThere 3

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:53

Understood Ma'am.

6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Scams Social Media Money Kids School Education Parents Public freakouts Health Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Fight Family Work Gross Customers

The Top

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 027

You deserved it 3 364

Today, one of my friends confessed his love for me and said he wanted to be more than friends. Jaded by guys who only wanted one thing, I pushed him away saying, “Oh really, is that what you think you need to say to get in my pants?” He frowned and stormed off. Later, I found out he really did want a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 829

The Top

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 683

You deserved it 7 052

Today, after dieting and working out for almost 3 months, I sit down on my chair to finish off some work. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 662

You deserved it 4 757

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 495

You deserved it 19 554

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 424

You deserved it 4 841

Today, everything in life was going smoothly. Including the rock someone slingshot through my passenger window while I was driving. Thank you, random citizen! FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 91

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 541

You deserved it 4 565