Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML
Threat
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Competitive
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML
What up big pimps?
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Damian?
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Dat ass
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Top comments
mk58 31
You're like his bitch.
Mi24hind 0
I see a pimp in the making
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Comments (280)
DeepDownThere 3
Fml is too harsh. they remove everything. We were just having fun.
jloldude 0
pussay
IronWarrior 9
This kid isn't whipping her, he's TRAINING her. Positive reinforcement.
ThatsSOBforshort 2
lol it's ok sometimes I get lectured by five year olds at the day camp where I help out
kaylaaa1312 3
Bacon strip treats or fruit snacks? rofl;)
canucks92 0
the kid put you in your place lol!
bribri360 0
learning early lol
flockz 20
no they arent harsh they just delete any conversations that could be contreversial. i dont blame em. as for all the really epic conversations u can usually find em on sirin's website. so i can usually deal with their sometimes annoying deletion of comments even though i wish some werent deleted.
Sirin_fml 47
Sorry about that, but extremely long and really off-topic personal threads are annoying for the other readers. Especially when they are at the top of the page. We try to be cool about this, but only when it's reasonable and fair on everyone else. :-)
DeepDownThere 3
Understood Ma'am.