Today, when I woke up, one half of my face was smooth and clear and the other half looked as if I got slapped by the Hand of Puberty itself. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, as I rushed to get my pants on, I slipped and bashed my forehead against the solid oak back board of my bed. School starts in 30 minutes and I look like I lost a boxing match horribly. FML
Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML
Today, my hormones decided to make my pimples appear symmetrically on my face around my nose and mouth. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, I shaved off half of my right eyebrow by accident. It still looks better than my left eyebrow. FML
Today, I was beaten up by a complete stranger for “giving her a dirty look.” I can’t see my own face. FML
Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML
Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
Now is the time to embrace your inner villain and call yourself Two-Face. Avoid bats if possible.
Emma1562 35
Well mine are in the shape of a mustache rn so you're okay
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
BilliardGreg 8
All depends on if the op is male or female... well I guess it sucks not as bad if they are male.
everybodysnerves 5
that was a slap to remind you to wash your filthy face.
cuculagirl 17
Clean your sheets!
minnymau5 5
That might be a sign that you have some pillow washing to do, OP.