Today, when I woke up, one half of my face was smooth and clear and the other half looked as if I got slapped by the Hand of Puberty itself. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, as I rushed to get my pants on, I slipped and bashed my forehead against the solid oak back board of my bed. School starts in 30 minutes and I look like I lost a boxing match horribly. FML
Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML
Today, my hormones decided to make my pimples appear symmetrically on my face around my nose and mouth. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, I shaved off half of my right eyebrow by accident. It still looks better than my left eyebrow. FML
Today, I was beaten up by a complete stranger for “giving her a dirty look.” I can’t see my own face. FML
Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML
Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Now is the time to embrace your inner villain and call yourself Two-Face. Avoid bats if possible.
Emma1562 35
Well mine are in the shape of a mustache rn so you're okay
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Comments (84)
SimplyCyrax 17
Either you pissed someone off or your friends think they're pranksters!
metalgearsoldier 6
Make the best of it and cosplay as Two-Face
trucker2 33
Connect the Dots, game anyone.
MrsPegg 45
Time to wash you pillow case and sheets, as well as sanitize your phone. Usually whatever side you sleep on, talk on the phone on and/or rest your hand on when you're thinking/resting, breaks out more from bacteria and oil. Sorry OP!
trtnt25 19
I've heard to buy a cheap pack of t shirts, use them as a pillow case and change them every night works best
RageWolf16 31
Time to switch pillowcases and wash your sheets, it works wonders
whassallt26 13
It happens, and it's only acne, could be worse
Ethan_Anonymous 28
I'm assuming the side that broke out is the side you sleep on. Wash that nasty ass pillow case you have. All the oil from your hair gets built up on it, clogging your pours
winniethebitch 19
switch to silk pillow cases better for your skin and such
VeganDarkLight 31
Not for those poor silkworms though. They're boiled alive :/ Not to mention silk is pretty expensive.
interesting33 37
Is this horizontally or vertically divided? Or diagonally or just in patches? :)
VgForce_fml 3
FU fml moderator. Why are you blocking my fml story post?