Intimacy: Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there...

By ohno - 10/03/2010 11:05 - United States

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 355

You deserved it 29 664

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By aranya - 14/06/2012 22:51 - Netherlands - Hengevelde

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 742

You deserved it 3 875

By Subliminal message - 19/01/2014 23:21 - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 723

You deserved it 8 492

In transit

By Kens - 20/05/2009 00:51 - Canada

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 349

You deserved it 106 986

By Anonymous - 18/06/2011 15:43 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 198

You deserved it 5 891

The Wire

By whorica139 - 02/09/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 683

You deserved it 30 661

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 000

You deserved it 4 667

By HouseMdFangirl - 10/08/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 760

You deserved it 58 384

Sexy talk

By dtmfa - 31/10/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 233

You deserved it 4 970

I'm not the main character in this scene

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 00:00 - Norway

Today, I went to the movies with a girl I like, then we went to grab a bite afterwards. She spent most of the time telling me how much she dislikes my best friend because he hooked up with a new girl. I then found out the two had been "talking" for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 111

By comics over coatis - 04/04/2017 12:00

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 382

You deserved it 2 549

Fedor_is_KING 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 16:04

Well, did you pick up any tips?

txdiva 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 16:04

Did learn anything??!!!

Comments

smokey13bk 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 19:14

that's comedy

ktbird 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 19:27

I hope they weren't talking during the movie... or you texting for that matter.

imdeborah 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 19:34

big deal. not really an FML.

kbolt88 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 19:44

why do you think talking about sex is gross? your boyfriend is trying to help you. you should listen to him.

buttshapedfruit 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 19:46

lmfao!!!!!!!!

Lillies98 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 20:04

why are you complaining? you're the annoying one texting during a movie. FML for having to read your stupid complaint. besides, he probably thought you might learn something different