Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, I was trying to lower the volume on my TV, but nothing was happening. I got increasingly frustrated, smacking the remote and yelling at the screen. My brain finally woke up when I realized I was holding the air conditioning remote and had been turning my living room into a freezer instead. FML
Today, I tried to get my son off of the couch by turning off the wifi. Afterward, I went to watch tv. Turns out he got me back by turning off the cable. FML
Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML
Today, my wife bitched me out 3 times in a row, for things that were not even my fault: for turning my Xbox on, even though I only nudged the button accidentally with my toe; opening a beer when it was actually a Pepsi for our son, and walking loudly when I "know she has a headache," which I didn’t. FML
Today, I shouted at my husband for buying a video game, saying that money wasted on his dumb childish bullshit could be spent on a nice vacation or date night. He quietly packed a bag and left. I'm getting the locks changed. Good riddance. FML
Today, I was watching our home security cameras from work when I saw my husband get home and grab a beer. I activated the camera microphone and told him to put it back and fold the laundry. He flipped off the camera, chugged the beer, and started jacking off on the living room sofa. FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, after my husband yelled at me for wasting money by getting my nails done, I decided to buy the supplies and watch YouTube to figure out how to do them myself. He then yelled at me for wasting money on the supplies. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
faxe 0
Your husband is a hero to nagged husbands everywhere.
happykiddo20 0
loool xDD u should try leaving him some peace, every man wants their free time with no women and no work but that was funny xDDD
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
Cristaderzi 0
Lol russian girl all the relationships Ive ever been in I give the man FULL control. He cant abuse you but he does have final say in ALL matters. My grandparents stayed together 50 years because Grandma refused to argue with him. The Bible AND quaran does have good advice even if scientifically they were a tad off!
MagicMeds 0
Ouch... that hurt my head... Please don't talk any more...
sarcdude 3
Is it bad I lol'd at this? still, sucks.
NothingToCompar1 0
People post some stupid shit.. Call the News cause some lady's husband was pretending to turn her voice, hurry alert the media *sarcasm*
Cristaderzi 0
Then go take some of your magic meds Magic Meds! LOL
MagicMeds 0
Oh you're so clever
RushFanatic 0
Haha remindes me of "Click"!
strawberryswirl 0
This is really rude, but funny. Sounds like something my dad would do to my mom, or even my boyfriend to me. My boyfriend told me I'd make a better door than window when I was doing something and blocking his view of the TV.
MadJester 0
I don't think I would have been able to keep a straight face. I'd probably start cracking up and forget about being angry. lol
HaveNoShame 3
That sounds like a pretty standard interaction in my relationship. If your disagreements have to be utterly humorless to be respectful, peach, your marriage is going to be a long haul. If someone just playfully pretends to lower your volume when you come up to yell at them in the middle of their relaxation, that's gotta be in the top 10% of possible responses.
kyrstenbw 0
HAHAHA.. i'm a girl and i think this is funny! my boyfriend does that to me all the time and i think its hilarious hahah
spiffyguy 0
If he watches tv an unhealthy amount of time (I'll leave that amount to your own interpretation) then talk to him about it when he is not watching tv, it will probably be more effective because he probably won't be distracted or annoyed that you are interrupting the show or whatever.