Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, I was trying to lower the volume on my TV, but nothing was happening. I got increasingly frustrated, smacking the remote and yelling at the screen. My brain finally woke up when I realized I was holding the air conditioning remote and had been turning my living room into a freezer instead. FML
Today, I tried to get my son off of the couch by turning off the wifi. Afterward, I went to watch tv. Turns out he got me back by turning off the cable. FML
Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML
Today, my wife bitched me out 3 times in a row, for things that were not even my fault: for turning my Xbox on, even though I only nudged the button accidentally with my toe; opening a beer when it was actually a Pepsi for our son, and walking loudly when I "know she has a headache," which I didn’t. FML
Today, I shouted at my husband for buying a video game, saying that money wasted on his dumb childish bullshit could be spent on a nice vacation or date night. He quietly packed a bag and left. I'm getting the locks changed. Good riddance. FML
Today, I was watching our home security cameras from work when I saw my husband get home and grab a beer. I activated the camera microphone and told him to put it back and fold the laundry. He flipped off the camera, chugged the beer, and started jacking off on the living room sofa. FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, after my husband yelled at me for wasting money by getting my nails done, I decided to buy the supplies and watch YouTube to figure out how to do them myself. He then yelled at me for wasting money on the supplies. FML
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Top comments
faxe 0
Your husband is a hero to nagged husbands everywhere.
happykiddo20 0
loool xDD u should try leaving him some peace, every man wants their free time with no women and no work but that was funny xDDD
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Comments (90)
jelojuice 0
I don't really think this is FML worthy....
cthulhu1138 1
Being too accusatory simply causes the other side to get defensive. Your chances of effecting any meaningful change in this manner are nil. Similarly, nagging gets tuned out. You'll get the standard "Yeah", "Sure" and "Uh-uh", but, as before, nothing will change. There's also the issue of phrasing. If you want your husband to spend more time with you, suggest something you both can enjoy. And please, don't pull any passive-aggressive bullshit. If you want him to suggest something, and you'd rather not do what he suggested, tell him upfront. Pretending you're OK with it and later holding the incident against him is one of the least productive things you can do. Effecting any kind of meaningful change in someone else takes a bit of effort, good planning, and lots of patience. It's up to you to decide whether it's worth it. Just know that losing your temper, yelling, nagging, and stupid ploys are counterproductive.
FMLLOLL 0
LOL WTF is with all the novel comments on here lately cbf reading massive paragraphs
meyanna 0
It's easier to ramble on and on than to be intelligent and use brevity.
michaelcarell 0
Cmon. You definitely deserved it. Some women don't understand when to shut the hell up. No offense.
Punkartmama 0
Maybe he wouldn't watch so much TV if you weren't a nagging bitch?
ambern 0
this would be better on mlia...
I_am_stupid_also 6
Quit bitching at the guy and give him a special remote with his new choices: - sex - chores - work - talk about your feelings - make his own goddamn dinner
thebigslim 13
Did it work?
CallMeHush 1
Could you tell me where he got that remote, the possibilities are endless! You could try and stand next to the TV in nothing but underware with beer in one hand and a sandwich in the other. That should get his attention.