Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, I was trying to lower the volume on my TV, but nothing was happening. I got increasingly frustrated, smacking the remote and yelling at the screen. My brain finally woke up when I realized I was holding the air conditioning remote and had been turning my living room into a freezer instead. FML
Today, I tried to get my son off of the couch by turning off the wifi. Afterward, I went to watch tv. Turns out he got me back by turning off the cable. FML
Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML
Today, my wife bitched me out 3 times in a row, for things that were not even my fault: for turning my Xbox on, even though I only nudged the button accidentally with my toe; opening a beer when it was actually a Pepsi for our son, and walking loudly when I "know she has a headache," which I didn’t. FML
Today, I shouted at my husband for buying a video game, saying that money wasted on his dumb childish bullshit could be spent on a nice vacation or date night. He quietly packed a bag and left. I'm getting the locks changed. Good riddance. FML
Today, I was watching our home security cameras from work when I saw my husband get home and grab a beer. I activated the camera microphone and told him to put it back and fold the laundry. He flipped off the camera, chugged the beer, and started jacking off on the living room sofa. FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, after my husband yelled at me for wasting money by getting my nails done, I decided to buy the supplies and watch YouTube to figure out how to do them myself. He then yelled at me for wasting money on the supplies. FML
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Top comments
faxe 0
Your husband is a hero to nagged husbands everywhere.
happykiddo20 0
loool xDD u should try leaving him some peace, every man wants their free time with no women and no work but that was funny xDDD
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Comments (90)
Str1ke 0
Wow, its a joke its not fml worthy, i can think of about 10 fml's right now better than that. For all those above comments saying dump him or divorce him, has any1 eva told you guys/girls a joke? Everyone does that to each other. Like i said not really a fml. Maybe if he pegged the remote at your head then.
Starfire22 5
Leave the poor man be! I dont understand how some women always need there guys around 24/7. My best friends wife gets so upset when he tries to hang out with the guys or have his own "me" time, so I end up, per his request, taking her out so my fiancee and he can go out with the guys. I mean she's not horrible to hang out with, I just don't understand why she can't let the poor guy go out and for her to stay home with there kid,when he stays home with there kid whenever she wants to go out. Thats why, I don't fuss or get upset when my fiancee leaves and goes out with the guys, as long as he puts in his fair share into the relationship and lets me go out with my friends, i'm ok with it.
romaunts 0
Well, I pose a question: Had you ever discussed with him previously that you feel neglected or wtfever your problem is, because he spends so much time watching TV? If not, then you have NO RIGHT to come bitching at him. Actually, you have no right anyway. Yeah, you both need to put work into the relationship, but that doesn't mean you own him. He needs some time to himself. Maybe you should make some snacks and watch with him- SILENTLY- or just leave him be. So long as he's being fair and not actually neglecting you and potential children, then it's fine. He needs 'him' time and, if that's in front of the TV, then it's better than him going out and getting smashed and ******* women around town, isn't it? Guys need their space. Chill the **** out. It's his business, you deserve it for bitching to begin with. I find it amusing. Sure, childish, and it didn't help anything, but can you expect him to be receptive when you're being a bitch? You're married. When you're married, and live together, you are around each other a lot. Everyone needs their space- besides work, because that's not exactly a relaxing situation. You should know that. I'm 19, never married, and /I/ know that. Sounds like you need to stop being the stereotypical clingy, bitchy wife.
apbennett91 0
Who hasn't done this?
som_fml 0
what's nagging going to accomplish. What exactly were YOU doing at that moment that was so worthy of your time? Have you tried offering an alternative? If someone said something stupidly vague to me like "you spend too much time watching tv", it's not going to do anything but irritate me. But if someone said "instead of watching tv today why don't we go [insert awesome activity here]", I'd say "**** television!"
onnielief 4
YDI! It was a joke, and a good one at that! Where is your sense of humor? Get a life and stop bitching about the TV!
your_face 15
Exactly. Get a hobby and a sense of humor.
GodOfBeer 5
next time he should use the on/off button :D now go make him a goddamn sammich and open him a beer
MagicalUnicorn42 1
Sexist
perdix 31
You ought to take off your pants in front of him and start manipulating the button on your remote control. That should make him forget the stupid TV for at least of couple of minutes. If that doesn't work, your remote is probably dead. Clean it out, lube it up and insert new batteries, then try again.
really_thissucks 0
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FMLjudge007 0
quit being a bitch then