Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML

Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML

Psssssych!

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

Today, my neighbour's boiler broke and flooded his home. To solve the problem, the water company shut off the neighbourhood's water supply while they fixed his boiler. I am now unable to shower, and I smell like a zoo animal. FML

Today, a water snake slithered into our pool. He can have it. FML

Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

Not on a plane

Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML

Bathtime

Today, I was running water for a relaxing bath. There have been some problems with the town's water for a while now, so I was pleased when the water looked so clear. Right as I thought that, however, the water instantly changed from crystal clear to shit brown. FML

Today, I heard on television that a body was found in my city's water reservoir. Word is that it was dead for over a week. I've been drinking and showering with that water. FML