Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was gently awoken by my daylight alarm clock. So were about 15 wasps that had started building their nest underneath my bed. FML
Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML
Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML
Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML
Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML
Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
my_fml_account 2
Carpenter ants? This FML is funnier in my head when I imagine they're building tiny scaffolding around you, and fixing your broken chair. oh and FYL
lonely_wife 0
I know I'd FREAK OUT!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (82)
iFruit 0
I like butterflies!
Kriegsphilosoph 0
God damnit, I thought you had carpenters crawling on you and your sheets.. You ruined my evening, burn in hell! ;@
elparto 0
Did you have honey on your knees or something?
invisibl3freddy 0
You know what they say, "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and not covered in insects".
Intoxicunt 6
You're right! But I feel a duty to educate the uneducated. Counting can be a useful skill.
17xVampx17 0
Nilnoc getting in the comments section to do nothing but complain about others and claiming they have no life kinda shows what little of a life you have. OP I'd have freaked out, and burned my mattress.
DresdenB17 0
at least they weren't union welder ants. those can be a bitch
dore 0
thank you for making my day a little happier
Raheemdplayer 7
do u live in a barn, why on earth wud they be there!? i think your bedroom must be dirty and you leave your plates in ur room, YDI
w_introuble 25
Ants can be in a house even if it's completely clean. They come in through little gaps and make your live miserable. You're an idiot! Op,fyl. I hope you managed to solve the problem :-)
Hanez10 0
Man that really sucks! I feel bad for you
MoMoJones 0
I want to be first also damn it and this is directed to #21 maybe he wanted to share the fun with us stop being a dumbass and saying ppl have no lives