By kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Spicy
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 491
You deserved it 36 489

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Scands_59 14

Well I wouldn't take it personally, that kinda pain can make the toughest man cry.

Comments

Wow I guess you guys don't see eye to "eye" anymore snirk snirk. ANy way you guys took "head to head" to a new level.

zingline89 18

*readjusts pants* What? They were too tight.

I am actually not so sure... "Kinky-Slang given to unusual, abnormal, or deviant sexual practices." I think we can all agree that headbutting a guy like that is unusual, so kudos to OP for accomplishing being "kinky".

*Takes pants off* What, I'm just watching a soccer match.

zingline89 18

And this is why you don't take sex advice from Willow Smith

Because nothing's worse than a regular, simple, garden variety, boring old ********, right? God damn you, E. L. James. You've ruined sex.

zingline89 18

Yes thanks to E.L. James a ******* is no longer acceptable unless is involves handcuffs, a whip, and a butt plug

Once again, a female author sets girls expectations of men unrealistically high.

My girlfriends and I had quite a few laughs at the unbelievability of those books.

It was OPs inner goddess that told her to do this. Why would someone want their belly whipped with hair anyway?

zingline89 18

*never eats a cucumber again* No explanation needed.

*Chokes the chicken* What? A man's gotta eat, and nothing beats a good slab of white meat.

pedosmurf 7

Wow that's terrible I wouldn't let you touch me either how do you even head but someone's dick? O.o

frottiejoy 7

well, I'm going to guess she was down there doing the deed, decided to be kinky and without moving away from the penis flung her hair forward and head butted his willy.

I'm trying to figure out how whipping someone with your ponytail during a ******* would be anything but awkward.

The_F3rris 11

Same. Tried to picture it in my head and no matter what it just looks strange.