Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML
Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML
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Top comments
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's just TOO desperate...
theunwiseone 4
DA *****???? O.o
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Comments (374)
1x1y 12
Beyond disgusted by this!! There is no amount of money that would make me do that!!!
BVBfan 10
What are euros? Like how much money is 50 euros?
thetuba 8
Use a vacuum
kennisdamennis 0
I think its funny how you try to make it seem like a good idea to make yourself look less weird for going along with it. And the fact that he paid you kinda makes you a hooker.
TheBabyMaker 0
****** inbreds. God
poseidon5213 2
how you gonna explain that to the physiatrist
jjones07 4
what the ****!
missalice0306 19
Now this is something only a loser would do -_-
koolkrimsonkid 9
What the hell?
mrssuarez2011 12
I'm sorry but I laughed so hard, probably one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read.