Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
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Top comments
docscientist 10
This is where you tell her you were only interested in her to get laid. Her self-confidence should dive-bomb and become a complete wreck, scattered upon a scorched landscape. Confidence isn't built from someone wanting to have sex with you, she's horribly misguided.
EwanSmith 2
used, but not even in the good way
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Comments (121)
youprobablydidit 3
Tell her you only tried because ugly chicks are usually pretty easy.
Candyholic 7
^this She deserves it.
RainWind 0
Tell her you thought fat chicks were supposed to be easy.
chels1994 11
worthless bitch
ty1992_farmlife 12
Damn.. she's a bitch
KiddNYC1O 22
Drop kick her.
nanxi 30
Maybe it was her first time getting intimate like that and she was just super nervous and accidentally blurted that out and failed in saying it properly. Well, you can always hope.
Arivien 3
What a bitch, she didn't even let you get anyway. You definitely deserve better, FYL OP.
rillastyle 1
Tell her "good you were getting fat anyway"
shots1996 8
That sucks bro your better off without her but first do as that one guy said and tell her you only wanted her to get laid
mxteen 0
**** the bitch >:/... don't worry find someone who's willing to get laid.
littlefootpimpin 0
Whaaaat a bitch. Lawl.