Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
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Top comments
docscientist 10
This is where you tell her you were only interested in her to get laid. Her self-confidence should dive-bomb and become a complete wreck, scattered upon a scorched landscape. Confidence isn't built from someone wanting to have sex with you, she's horribly misguided.
EwanSmith 2
used, but not even in the good way
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Comments (121)
SilentNicholas 0
Make that biznatch feel like $#|7. Bring her self confidence down really low
Austin342 13
Tell her that the pussy wasn't good anyway...
navarrebryce 0
Just call her fat and that she needs all the confidence she can get
sierralovesyou 0
Tell her that she's a bitch, she has small boobs, she reeks of fish, and then smile. Finish off by non chalauntely grabbing your leather jacket and strutting out.
carlosantana0219 2
What if he doesn't have a leather jacket?
mattpeddicord 0
So!?!?! Tell her she looks fatter without her shirt on! Then nail the shit out of her!
bbiiaattcchh13 1
Awwhh
johnnie254 7
And women wonder why good men are rare to find and either become ****** up now. Thank you for giving us a new perspective on women,
missalice0306 19
Call her fat, see what that does to her self confidence ;)
theonlysweetpea 10
#95 You are awesome. OP suffice to say she wasn't the one but that's okay because her type of bitch is getting rarer
zander4310 5
****...