Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML
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Top comments
24788 7
It's your dads job to make sure your never having sex in your life.
corndog45 0
lol i am sorry
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Comments (76)
powersticks 16
I think her dad doesn't like her crush and called her fat in the hopes that the crush would think that she's fat and not go out with her. Try bringing in a guy that he really likes and see what happens. If he does it again then you really are gaining weight.
cjammer 0
If this guy feels the same way about you that you feel about him, your father's comment won't make any difference. And anyway, I'm quite sure that if you were chubby, Crush would have already noticed. Not that there's anything wrong with it. =]
EveryDayJackAss 0
the poking made the epic win XD
TheLetterZero 7
"We we're" again? Wow...
Neon_POP 0
Your dad's a jerk. No offense.
The_Nicest_Truth 5
Really, people, all of you are so sensitive. My dad does these kinds of things to me all the time! He's just teasing(and probably trying to get your crush to laugh). Since he poked you in the stomach, he was trying to make you laugh. Your crush doesn't care, either. I know my brothers would laugh insanely hard if their friend/crush's father did that to them. Guys are more understanding than we give them credit for. In fact, I realized a couple of days ago that I like guys way more than I like girls.
malloryrose2002 5
Even if op was gaining weight this was not the time nor the place to tell op this and if it was a joke op's dad shouldn't have joked about op's weight
rsjaco_54 0
I would've done the same thing back. Would've made you look better and changed the whole mood.
Gobsnoglin 0
Lose some weight! Fat people are disgusting.
hedgehogs 0
Your father chose a particularly disgusting and cruel way to try to keep you away from a boy by putting said boy off you.
CarterColbie 4
Lmao your dad ftw.