Today, the cute guy in my class asked if I wanted to come over to his house to "study" on Saturday for our finals. I went to his house expecting a good time. He actually wanted to study. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML
Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML
Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML
Today, I realized the cute guy in my Spanish class only talks to me so he can steal my answers. He asked if I'd give him the answers for the final as well. FML
Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML
Today, I finally got off my lazy ass and start studying for my upcoming exam. It was going pretty well, until my classmate called and after I proudly told him about my sudden motivation, the only thing he had to say was, "You got the date wrong, the exam was on thursday." FML
Today, I asked my teacher if he could tutor me for my upcoming exam. He said he'd look into it and let me know later. I later got called to the principal's office because my teacher claimed I'd propositioned him for sex. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML
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Top comments
dillynf39 3
Study human anatomy.
Sinamoi 18
God forbid someone actually wanting to do good in school as opposed to having sex with everything that moves.
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Comments (95)
afulks78 11
Atleast you will pass right ? :)
sjhill 32
maybe you should be taking biology and business management. :P
EpicSquishii 21
Ugh..... *****. Try keeping it in your pants, you might learn something. I'm a lingerie model, for Christ's sake, and I have NEVER attempted anything nearly as sleazy as that. Nasty, nasty..... Hope you do well in school though, stick around this guy, he'll set you on the right track. *under breath* ***** *cough*
every1luvsboners 11
Sure you are. I'm willing to bet you're a 55 year old guy sitting in front of his PC with a bucket of chicken wings and warm Busch beer, all while naked. BTW, I'm a nipple model.
Freeze_fml 17
Prancing around half naked in skimpy underwear isn't exactly the greatest profession to stand on a pedestal and look down on others.
superpoptart 24
Models are classy. You're confusing them with **** stars or prostitutes.
EpicSquishii 21
Haha actually I was conceding the fact that it wasn't the most "lady-like" of professions while simultaneously "looking down from my pedestal". Also... I never prance in skimpy underwear. That's undignified ;) LOL But really, I think you missed the point entirely.... Which, I think is kind of sad. This... (can it even be called this?) profession... is up there with "*****-like" and I was saying "Even *I* am not skanky enough to do that" A lot of self deprecation there, and humility on my part. I know exactly what my chosen job makes me look like, but I also know that my true-life actions are nothing like OP's. That's all :D
EpicSquishii 21
Boners-Your description was so detailed that I'm kind of worried that you'd probably RATHER that I be that naked 55 year old man. Though if I *was* (Wink wink), it wouldn't be chicken wings in the bucket, it'd be drumsticks. Sooo.... how much are we talking about betting here? Hahaha
bobbycorwen 5
You are a lingerie model for Christ's sake? Do you work for Jesus's Secret?
EpicSquishii 21
#56, No... it's a charity function. You see... Jesus has cancer. So I model in underwear to raise funds and awareness. You know... For Christ's sake....
every1luvsboners 11
I only gamble with my life. If anyone believes this guy, I have a bridge for sale.
EpicSquishii 21
Awww damn :( Hell, I'll take that too. Pistols at dawn then?
bobbycorwen 5
Oh! You are a model for Saints and Taints or Martyrs and Garters? Those are both nice fund raising modeling agencies.
EpicSquishii 21
#62 Oh no, nothing so well renowned as that! It's an up-and-coming agency that mixes ambiguous promiscuities (Yay! I made up a word, according to my spell-check) It's called Virgin Mary, Au Contrairie
Freeze_fml 17
Well, I apologize that you think your assumption that I didn't understand your point is sad, but rest assured the point was conveyed. I don't know if you're trying to convince yourself otherwise, but I find it hard to conceive someone in a dignified stance with cameras all around snapping photos of them while half naked in suggestive undergarments and usually a dumb smile to arouse the men. But of course the FML weeaboos on their iPhone must rush to the defense of their poor half naked model and thumb me down for the blasphemy of criticizing you and questioning your dignity as a sexual underwear advertiser.
PeachyJinx 7
I model for the creep outside my window every night (': Its almost like charity.
Kog_Hiro 17
I think you could take em Squishii Aim for the knee caps. He'll have to live with Skyrim references for the rest of his life
EpicSquishii 21
#69- Again, it seems, my point was lost. This time I blame it entirely on your obtuseness. For one, when I said I was too dignified to prance.... That was a joke. Hence the winking emoticon and the "LOL" after. I was, yet again, being self-deprecating about the lingerie-modeling, and was in fact being... what's the word... ? Not ironic... facetious. Yeah- that. I was being facetious. Also... I'm nowhere near half naked. Not right now, and not on my default picture. Why are you trying to fight with me? Le sigh... Guess it doesn't matter :) LOL by the way, I love that job title. I'm going to put it down on my resume. Current position: Sexual Underwear Advertiser. Hahaha
EpicSquishii 21
#78- Knee Caps..... Ouch. Well he didn't say that he gambles with his patellas, he said he gambles only with his life. Which means I have to aim for his pretty little face. And don't you dare diss Skyrim!!! (Not really helping my "I'm not a 55 year old man" case, am I?)
IndigoAcrylic 9
I'm an ankle model. My ankles are so fabulous that men actually jack of them. GOTCHAA!!
EpicSquishii 21
My ankles are no great shakes compared to my shoulder blades. These babies are so sexy, they're almost sinful.
pablopoo 7
Omg ur hot haha
Epsilonyx 15
Oh God, what a perfect line of comments.
kphippie 0
Really?..... Listen to #3 and 4 they pretty much took what I was going to say
van_helsing 6
Dirty, dirty mind.
comedybreak 20
Am I the only one who thinks having a good time doesn't mean sex? She probably meant they would hang out and/or get with him.
kristac123 0
So at least he talks to you? Maybe he likes u too
n_epic_fail 14
Academic career or some girl? ACADEMIC CAREER or some girl? He's responsible and your head is in the gutter.
Freeze_fml 17
Poor him, since you seem none too bright.
Epsilonyx 15
Agreed.