Today, someone sent a dick pic to my 16-year-old, lesbian daughter. She handed me her phone and asked, "What is that, a naked mole rat?" FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
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Top comments
OneGuySixDemons 23
"No honey, that's a penis." "… A what?" "Never mind, not important."
aggoden_bed 9
<p>Now we know why she is a lesbian.</p>
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Comments (34)
Indigo Surri 1
Lol that's actually fantastic response to the dick pic. Tell her to send that as a reply xD
CrazyJolteon 0
If she's 16, even if she's a lesbian, she should know about a penis
cantfixme36 28
It's not like she wouldn't know what a penis is, chances are she's just never seen one IRL/as a real photo. Sex Ed classes often just offer b&w anatomical drawings that don't really do it much justice. Or perhaps she went to a religious school that didn't offer pictures at all, just talked about it. Or maybe the guy had a really deformed penis. I once had a guy send me one who had a really weird looking chode, and I didn't even know what it was for a good few minutes
Bearsmomma 30
Knowing a day seeing are different
Ganif 9
What happened to sex ed class
PouncyMcmittens 3
I'm very sure she knows what a penis looks like, guys, stop taking it so literal. There's a whole meme about penis mole rats, which is what I'm sure she was referring to. She was making a joke, not being stupid.
Bearsmomma 30
Ugh. Typos.... Knowing and seeing are different
blackrose1996 11
Hey she won't get pregnant gotta remember that and she really won't if she doesn't know what it is lol
DoomedGemini 38
Actually not knowing or fully understanding leads to more pregnancies.
sgdigaetano 3
Pretty much, yes ?
plaukjeunicorn 0
hahaha whats the difference tho
caircair 3
That is one of the best comebacks I've ever heard. Kudos to you, girl!
sharond23 10
even though she's a lesbian i find it hard to believe she doesnt know what a penis looks like.