Today, someone sent a dick pic to my 16-year-old, lesbian daughter. She handed me her phone and asked, "What is that, a naked mole rat?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
OneGuySixDemons 23
"No honey, that's a penis." "… A what?" "Never mind, not important."
aggoden_bed 9
<p>Now we know why she is a lesbian.</p>
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (34)
shade34 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
she's 16, and lesbian?
alvarny 17
exactly, what does a kid know at 16... ?
BudgieLord 5
It's almost as if she knows who she's attracted to after going through puberty. Wow. What an unexpected occurance. Almost as if people will often realise their orientation around the same time as others regardless of whether they're straight or not! :O
sweetpotato301 7
What's wrong with that? How old were you when you realised that you're attracted to the opposite sex? Probably very young.
Catdragon 40
I've liked and found women attractive since age 15. Have you forgotten what it's like at age 16?
alvarny 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
use it to turn her straight.
Konarika 11
People like you are the worst
cantfixme36 28
And why exactly would he want to do that? ****, I would be happy to have a lesbian daughter. No risk of pregnancy.
flakawaka 0
Yes, yes it is
Suckmybigrooster 1
Maybe if see one in person and used one is might not be gay anymore
BudgieLord 5
Maybe if you see and used one in person, you might "turn" gay. No? Not how it works for you? Shocking, it's not how it works for anyone.
MsBluntBunny 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How is this an FML not only do you know your daughter won't get pregnant but she also let you know when someone was messaging her inappropriately. I'd mark it off as a win.
lostinareverie 21
she's not wrong, in a way.
ElizaWy 25
Your life may suck. I, however, have used this as fodder for my ongoing household debate that penises look weird. I brought several very nice mole rat pictures to show my husband, as a visual aid. ... He decided to start chasing me around naked, demanding that I apologize to it. ;D
19foxy81 8
Hahahahaha (sorry but that's funny :)
ElizaWy 25
(We thought so, too. :D )
AKchic 7
Call the police and let them handle the contact with the male (and male's parents?). She didn't consent to a dick pic being sent, therefore at best, this is a sexually harassing text. Might as well teach this would-be lothario that his advances were neither wanted nor appropriate. Now if only we could get the ADULT males that do this shit to quit it.
Druu 53
Minor teens have been charged with distribution of child **** for sexting.
Isa_fml 20
That's actually hilarious, I hope that was her response to the little creep who sent it.
Isa_fml 20
I had excellent sex education but I can't say it involved seeing pictures of random dicks while I was still a kid. Dick pics aren't the same as diagrams in books.